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Monday, 27 April 2015

RE-VISITING THE NECESSITY OF THE FAMILY IN SOCIETY



IBIYEMI ‘WALE VICTOR



The plethora of the evils, mayhem and pandemonium in our world calls for a deeper reflection on the philosophies cum ideologies that govern and direct our societies. It seems that man is in search of his own death in shades of radical modernism and intellectual insanities. The future of humanity is the most important thing that must always be placed in view in the drive for scientific, cultural and ideological successes. The primary evil which is the thrust of this paper is the modernistic corrosion of the family. Because once the idea of family is permanently tinted with these false notions, then, the society is altogether doomed. For the Family is the pillar of society, the quality of the family determines the quality of the society.
This modernistic interpretation of values has even rocked the bedrock of the society- the family and that has multiplied the evils and scandals in the society. Hence, the debacle of family life has occasioned a more unstable and volatile society. There are crises everywhere. These crises are launched with the celebrations of unions and marriages that do not have life in focus. Unions that are aberrations to the traditional understanding of marriage, unions that are anti-life. For example, homosexuality, transsexuals, bestiality, lesbianism, lone-parent families, divorce, rape, parenting, cohabiting e.t.c.
These improper relationships do not promote anything good. They are the very foundations of discord and disharmony in societal values. They do not support the dignity of human life, they promote the culture of death through the acolytes of abortion, euthanasia and suicide. These unholy unions are deprived of any altruism, the morale in them is selfishness, selfish-gratifying desires, selfism and hedonistic. Their results are disastrous. Scandals, unintended pregnancies, abortion, contraception, imbalanced child care, ignorance of children development and parenting. There is every need therefore to reinstate the values of the human family as a place where life is welcomed, protected and nurtured.    
Furthermore, searching deeper into family life, there are some other problems rocking family life today which translate into the bleakness that society faces in modern times. They are; Anti-Christian culture, Divorce, Busyness, Absent father figure, Lack of discipline, Financial pressures, Lack of communication, Negative media influences, Balance of work and family and Materialism.
These ten fundamental problems rocking family life affect every member of the family and therefore affect the society of which the family is a microcosm. Marriages have been unnecessarily dissolved because of these problems. Homes are broken and chattered because of the lack of communication, busyness and the inability to balance work and family. So many others wound other families. These are the reasons why the society will never be stable unless family life is repositioned to its dignity and roles in the society.
We need to constantly remind ourselves of the necessity of the family in the society. The first importance of the family is that, it is the foyer into the world. The family shapes and moulds the individual.
The family as the first natural society
…Indeed, a person normally comes into the world within a family, and can be said to owe to the family the very fact of his existence as an individual. When he has no family, the person coming into the world develops an anguished sense of pain and loss, one which will subsequently burden his whole life.[i]
Pope John Paul II notes that the discourse on family is an indispensable topic in the society. This is because the family has always been considered as the first and basic expression of man’s social nature.[ii] It is in the family that the individual gets the first identity as a human being, hence, the family is presented in the creator’s plan as the “the primary place of humanization for the person and society and the cradle of life and love.[iii]
The family is the sanctuary of life
The family in its proper sense is the sanctuary of life because by its openness to conjugal love, it becomes open to the acceptance of life and by that acceptance to life the family becomes a place in which life- the gift of God- can be properly welcomed and protected against the many attacks with which it is exposed to and can develop in accordance with what constitutes human growth.[iv] It is the role of the family therefore to promote the culture of life.
The family is a communion of persons
The family is a community of persons whose proper way of existing and living together is communion: communio personarum.[v] From this understanding of family, Blessed John Paul II says it is possible to discern how the primordial model of the family is to be sought in God himself, in the Trinitarian mystery of his life. The divine “We” is the eternal pattern of the human “we”, especially of that “we” formed by the man and the woman created in the divine image and likeness. Hence one can discover, at the very origins of human society, the qualities of communion and of complementarity.[vi]
The family as a domestic church
The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called “the domestic Church,” a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.[vii]
As the domestic Church, the family is summoned to proclaim, celebrate and serve the Gospel of life. This is a responsibility which first concerns married couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals that human life is a gift received in order to be given as a gift. In giving origin to a new life, parents recognize that the child, “as the fruit of their mutual gift of love, is, in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift which flows from them.[viii] It is here (in the Family) that the father, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way ‘by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity.’[ix] Thus, the home is the first school of Christian life and ‘a school for human enrichment.’[x] Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one’s life.[xi]
The family as active participant in social life
The family participates in social life through solidarity,[xii] economic life and work.  In the societal formation of individuals, the family plays the fundamental and building roles. For instance, in the primal aspect of inculcating virtues and character formation, it is the sole responsibility of the family to satisfy the morality of the child before the child eventually gets out to inculcate abhorrent virtues. Many parents have lost their children because they lack skills for proper parenting and this daily hurts and hunts our nation- Nigeria. Some other parents think that by dumping their children in boarding schools, they are doing themselves good and by that, avoiding the stress of their obligations. The result always prove the contrary- how those children turn out to be what they never expected.
In conclusion, the family is an indispensable part of the society. Not just an association of persons but good families are needed in order to re-establish our world and society. We must all together work to protect our families from shattering. We must always pray for the abundance of good families in the society. Families must also contribute their own impact in changing the world through proper formation of the young ones. Our future is actually in our hands.   




[i] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1994), 2
[ii] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families, 7
[iii] John Paul II, Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation- Christi Fideles Laici (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1988), 40
[iv] John Paul II, Encyclical Letter- Centesimus Annus (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1991), 39
[v] We are called, by creation and from the beginning to enter into a communion of persons so that we may increase and multiply and to enter into a communion so that the earth might be subdued. Of course, the first communion is the family, the second is that found in the workplace. In both communion, the activity of man and woman reflects the acts of God, not only in the self-gift which established the communions, but also in the effects of the self-gifts. See, Richard M. Hogan and John M. Levoir “Pope John Paul II on Love, Sexuality, Marriage and Family” in Marriage: Readings in Moral Theology edited by Charles E. Curran and Julie Hanlon Rubio- no 15- (New York: Paulist Press, 2009), 81
[vi] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families, 6
[vii] Catechism of the Catholic Church (Nairobi: Paulines Publications Africa, 1994), 1666
[viii] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae- on the Value and Inviolability of Human Life, (25 March, 1995)92
[ix] “Lumen Gentium”, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church in the Documents of Vatican II- the Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents, Vol.1 edited by Austin Flannery (Bangalore: Theological Publication in India, 2010),10
[x] Gaudium et Spes”- Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, 52
[xi] Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1657
[xii] Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, Compendium Of The Social Doctrine Of The Church (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 2005), republished by St. Paul Book Centre, 141

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