IBIYEMI VICTOR AKINWALE
ABSTRACT
Family in the
African worldview is an important, indispensable and an extended association of
relatives. Like other institutions in the society for instance the religious,
economic institutions, there are innumerable problems that besiege family life
especially in this modern dispensation. Among these outrageous problems in
family life is the misery of
childlessness. The grievous condition of childlessness in Africa is synonymous
to a curse; the most miserable and
abject situation for any couple. Unlike the Western society, Africans can and will never conceptualize what is termed voluntary childlessness or even
celibacy.[i]
Concretely, in Nigeria, procreation has a place
of pride. Strengthened by the adherents of African Traditional Religion and
practices, procreation has always been viewed as the primary purpose of
marriage. Thus, a man is at liberty to marry as many wives as possible just for
the reason of procreation.
However, there is dissatisfactory reaction when Catholicism
like some other denominations in Christianity provide some legislations
different from this procreative vision of the African worldview. For instance,
Catholicism teaches only one wife to a man as the scriptures has dictated. Such
legislations constitute a dilemma for many African Christians joggled
in-between culture and religion. Another example of this dilemma is the shift
in some emphases. The new Code of Canon
Law knots the essentialities of marriage to “unity and indissolubility”[ii]
providing no place for divorce and polygamy among Christians. All these deemphasise
the pressure on procreation which is predominant in the African understating of
marriage.
Considering
the reality and challenge of childlessness, many Christian marriages have
suffered ruptures not just because of the African emphasis on procreation but
many have argued that even the Bible condemns infertility quoting Genesis 1:22
vehemently. Pentecostalism has constantly
preached that barrenness is a disaster and a curse. These ideologies have
driven the nails so hard into many heads that childlessness contradicts the
plan of God for marriage. But is that truly the scriptural teaching about
marriage and procreation? In fact, what is the compatibility of scriptural notes
on fecundity and the issue of barrenness in Christian families? The focus of
this essay therefore is to find the harmony of Genesis 2:18 and the crisis of
childlessness in the attempt to understand the ultimate plan of God in
matrimony.
INTRODUCTION: FERTILITY IN AFRICA
The African
may trivialize many things but he dares not joke with the idea of family and
communality. John Mbiti representing other African philosophers have captured
the essence of family in varied clichés. Ubuntu[iii]-
the most favoured concept that addresses the existence of the individual in the
society is the reversal of Descartes’ Cogito
Ego Sum[iv]
: “I am because WE are and, since We are therefore I am”. In this John S. Mbiti
asserts that the individual cannot exist without the community and the first
community he makes allusion to is his family. It is therefore the primary
prerogative of every individual to continue that communality in the nurturing of
families- it is literally a taboo or a
curse therefore to be a stoppage in that divine task.
It is very
true in the African milieu that marriage is not a union of two individuals
only. It is a union between families. As Ogunkunle C. O asserts typically of
the Yoruba marriage that “Marriage is not just a union between the groom and
his bride but rather a union between two families or even between clans.”[v]
Scholars have argued that most marriages in the African setting are never based
on love but on some other factors
other than love. Factors that bring in two families to become one large family
sharing many things in common especially the task of rearing another generation
for the future of their communities. Hence, the identities of the man and woman
for marriage are extended in the children they bear. In consonance with the
foregoing idea, Laurenti Magesa portrays inter alia the picture of fertility in African
worldview:
…Their own personal identity and identification are
equally extended especially through the expected children. In any pre-marriage
investigation, the fertility of the bride and bridegroom are considered
seriously. If any of the men in his family is known or rumoured to be sexually inadequate
in any way, he is most unlikely to be accepted for marriage. Fertility is the
central requirement in marriage. A marriage proposal would be even less likely
if there were cases of barrenness among the female members of the girl’s
family. This brings doubt on the ability of whole family to transmit life. But
the most serious impediment to marriage is witchcraft, of which impotence,
sterility, barrenness, or a generally bad reputation may be considered to be
symptoms.[vi]
Furthermore, at African marriages or weddings especially
in Nigeria, one always hears such prayers and utterances like In nine months’ time, we shall gather again
to welcome a new child. Even the couples, the first
prayer on their lips is that God would bless their marriage with children.
Fathers adore children for they prove their manhood. Mothers worship children
for they remove the stigma of barrenness.[vii] In Nigeria, marriage involves all sectors of life. Laurenti
Magesa argues that:
Marriage concerns not only social factors, but of
necessity also economic, political and religious factors, all of which are
inextricably intertwined. Since the traditional family had to be large in order
to guarantee the material well-being of all its members, of children, of the
sick, the disabled and the old, and since this require continuity over time,
every person had a moral obligation to marry and to contribute to the social
reproduction of his kinship group. The most basic value, to beget or bear
children, is instilled in all members of the society from early childhood
onwards.[viii]
The stress on reproduction in Africa (Nigeria) is
linked to religion for without progeny individuals can have no immortality in
the realm of the spirits because there would be no one to preserve their memory
by sustaining a communal relationship with them after they should have made the
transition from the realm of history to that of spirit. In short, progeny is a
prerequisite for becoming an ancestor: the existence of the later depends on
the family. Since Africans, particularly, the Yorubas and Igbos believe not
only in the immortality of souls but also in their reincarnation in subsequent
generations. “Procreation evidences the reciprocal relationship between the
living, the dead and the family. Stemming from such claims as these, no greater
misfortune can be-fall an African person than the inability to procreate.”[ix]
Summarily, in many cultures in Nigeria, “many wives and children are a sign of
blessing, wealth and prosperity as well as continuing the family heredity and
lineage.”[x]
Childlessness in marriages have therefore been viewed
as disasters or calamities because children are the necessary agents for
maintaining the link between the ancestors and the living family. African
Christians, particularly Nigerians hold on to the truth that children are God’s
gifts to the family (Psalm 127), their absence implies God’s chastisement,
rebuke and even wrath for some sins they have committed. While some Nigerians
see childlessness as an attack from an enemy, witch, or the village. Childlessness is seen as a
spiritual problem that requires serious prayers for the Christians. For the Traditionalist,
it requires some sacrifices and expiation under the guidance of witch doctors,
herbalists and sorcerers.
In most of the crusades and vigils in Nigerian
Pentecostal Churches, the first intercessory prayer point is usually reserved
for have women who are barren. And when this is announced, more than 95% of the
congregation come out for special prayers for barren women, even men come out on
behalf of their wives and other women on behalf of their friends and relatives.
Barrenness is a terrible problem that hunts the African concept of family. Despite
the influence of Christianity and the Western culture, the motivation for
marriage in traditional Nigerian society has remained essentially to perpetuate
another generation. So, it is even believed that a marriage is only concluded
through the birth of a child. Hence, Laurenti Magesa, argues that: “At the
conclusion of the marriage through the birth of a child, husband and wife
belong completely to one another, and the bond between the two families and
communities is sealed.”[xi]
Africans regard children as “the perpetuators of the family’s name, to inherit
their property, to give them security in their old age, to give assurance of
social recognition, and to give them a befitting burial when they die”.[xii]
Before digging deeper into this menace of
childlessness and deciphering the Catholic understanding of the biblical text
in view, it would not be out of place to quickly consider two major concepts
that will be mentioned endlessly in
this paper. The reason for these brief conceptualizations is to define from
onset the employment and intended
understanding of these concepts especially in this contemporary eon that has
the characteristics of re-interpreting even traditional terminologies for “we
live in a time when uniform notions about most things are questioned…one of the
marks of our age is diversity.[xiii]
It is apt to start with marriage because in a strict sense there cannot be a
Christian family if marriage has not taken place.[xiv]
ON THE CONCEPTS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY: THE
CHANGING FACES OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY IN MODERN SOCIETY
Marriage is an
institution known and accepted all over the world. It is both a social and
divine institution, as a result, it is governed by both social and religious
norms of the society.[xv]
Succinctly, marriage is a legally recognized relationship between two human
persons of different sex for a full community of life. In Catholicism, the
marriage between two baptised is a sacrament.[xvi]
In the history of man, marriage as an institution has undergone many historical
changes that could make one ask whether there is even an essence of marriage.
The modern revolution of marriage[xvii]
is an instantiation of the revolutionary ideologies that has gone into the
redefinition of marriage over the years. However, the understanding of marriage
here would be summarily viewed below:
Marriage as Communion
The official Catholic
teaching presented in the 1917 Code of
Canon Law held that a sacramental marriage was a contract and that procreation
was the primary purpose of marriage, many theologians found this understanding
of sacramental marriage too narrow, thus, they described marriage as relationship in order to jettison the
legalism of the 1917 Code. Even in
such depiction, contemporary theologians now see relationship as too shallow to convene the meaning of marriage, thus,
they opine that marriage is more than relationship.[xviii]
Hence, marriage is seen as communion-
something more than relationship. A prominent figure that made this change was Saint
Pope John Paul II who in his earlier writings on the Theology of the Body
employed the idea of relationship but swiftly
upgraded that thought when he defined marriage as “the covenant of conjugal
love freely and consciously chosen, whereby man and woman accept the intimate
community of life and love willed by God himself.”[xix]
This conjugal life “finds its crowing” in children or if procreation proves
impossible, “other important services to the life of the human person”.[xx]
UNDERSTANDING THE FAMILY IN DOCTRINE AND IN LIFE
Much has been noted
about family and its connotation for
the African in the introductory paragraphs. However, this section of the paper
presents a catholic conceptualization of the term family- as the conjugal union between a man and woman- and
the understanding that must shape any meaningful discussion on the family in
this paper. Just like every other term, family has been defined in varied ways.
Again, it is not the focus here to give those definitions. Family has been
described in different ways illustrating its characteristics and nature. For
instance, it is the vital building-block of society and the ecclesial
community.[xxi]
The family is also regarded as the sanctuary of life.[xxii]
Conventionally therefore, the family is a group consisting of (one) or two
parents and their children. There exists a family even if there are no children
as the couple wait on God.[xxiii]
The description of the family will be tailored under four major subheads.
The family as the first natural society
…Indeed, a
person normally comes into the world within a family, and can be said to owe to
the family the very fact of his existence as an individual. When he has no
family, the person coming into the world develops an anguished sense of pain
and loss, one which will subsequently burden his whole life.[xxiv]
Pope John Paul
II notes that the discourse on family is an indispensable topic in the society.
This is because the family has always been considered as the first and basic
expression of man’s social nature.[xxv]
It is in the family that the individual gets the first identity as a human
being, hence, the family is presented in the creators’ plan as the “the primary
place of humanization for the person and society and the cradle of life and
love.[xxvi]
The family is the sanctuary of life
The family in
its proper sense is the sanctuary of life because by its openness to conjugal
love. It becomes open to the acceptance of life and by that acceptance to life
the family becomes a place in which life- the gift of God- can be properly
welcomed and protected against the many attacks with which it is exposed to and
can develop in accordance with what constitutes human growth.[xxvii]
It is the role of the family therefore to promote the culture of life.
The family is a communion of persons
The family is
a community of persons whose proper way of existing and living together is
communion: communio personarum.[xxviii]
From this understanding of family, Blessed John Paul II says it is possible to
discern how the primordial model of the family is to be sought in God himself,
in the Trinitarian mystery of his life. The divine “We” is the eternal pattern
of the human “we”, especially of that “we” formed by the man and the woman
created in the divine image and likeness. Hence one can discover, at the very
origins of human society, the qualities of communion and of complementarity.[xxix]
The family as a domestic church
The Christian
home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith.
For this reason the family home is rightly called “the domestic Church,” a
community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian
charity.[xxx]
As
the domestic Church, the family is summoned to proclaim, celebrate and serve
the Gospel of life. This is a responsibility which first concerns married
couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness
of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals that
human life is a gift received in order then to be given as a gift. In giving
origin to a new life, parents recognize that the child, “as the fruit of their
mutual gift of love, is, in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift which flows
from them.[xxxi]
It is here (in the Family) that the father of the family, the mother, children,
and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a
privileged way ‘by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving,
the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity.’[xxxii]
Thus, the home is the first school of Christian life and ‘a school for human
enrichment.’[xxxiii]
Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even
repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering
of one’s life.[xxxiv]
The family as active
participant in social life
The
family participates in social life through solidarity,[xxxv]
economic life and work. In the societal
formation of individuals, the family plays the fundamental and building roles.
For instance, in the primal aspect of inculcating virtues and character
formation, it is the sole responsibility of the family to satisfy the morality of the child before the child eventually gets
out to inculcate abhorrent virtues. Many parents have lost their children
because they lack skills for proper parenting and this daily hurts and hunts
our nation- Nigeria. Some other parents think that by dumping their children in
boarding schools, they are doing themselves good and by that, avoiding the stress of their obligations. The result
always prove the contrary- how those children turn out to be what they never
expected.
TRADITIONAL BELIEF ON THE CAUSE OF CHILDLESSNESS:
WHO IS TO BLAME?
Nigeria is a society of blamers. We want to blame someone or
something for our failures and disasters. But we are very astute at
appropriating goodness, blessings and good deeds to ourselves. Maybe it is just
a human thing to do, after all, our first parents in Eden clung to pushing
blames after the Fall (Genesis 3: 12-13).
Many explanations
have been purported to unravel the cause of childlessness in marriages. These explanations
are products of our African belief systems and these explanations are much alive
even among those who have branded
themselves as Christians. Their truism or falsity is not the focus for
justification here. Africans have always understood their world and explained
it as such.
The first is the
wrath of the gods or evil ones. A woman may have inadvertently trespassed into an area forbidden to women, or performed some action
public or private that has attracted the disapproval
of the evil spirit, and as punishment he had prevented her from having any
children.
In some areas a woman may be rendered infertile if she
sees in public or in private the village masquerade at certain times forbidden
to women.[xxxvi]
Secondly, the family ancestors may render a woman childless when she commits
adultery or any grievous offences that are detrimental to the stability of the
family. Adultery is a grave crime that is punishable by immediate termination
of marriage when discovered or if done in secret the ancestors may punish the
woman by rendering her childless. The common belief is that the ancestors are spirits
and are capable of seeing things done in secret.[xxxvii]
Thirdly, practicing witchcraft or participation in various activities connected
with witchcraft may also leave a woman childless. It is believed that the blood
of the innocent victims had appealed to God and the ancestors to avenge. Such a
woman may be punished by childlessness.[xxxviii]
Finally, in rare cases where the boy’s wishes prevailed over those of the
negotiating elders in the choice of the bride, it is believed that they could
put a curse on the couple to express their disapproval of the marriage. Again
the parents of the girl engaging in marriage, may put a temporary curse on her
to be lifted on the payment of some impending debt arising from partly unpaid
dowry.[xxxix]
Solution to the problem of childlessness depends on what the supposed cause is.
As an addendum, it would be grossly ignorant to forget
the medical underpinnings to barrenness. Because of the ignorant preparation
many couples make before marriage, it has been medically proven that some
couples are not compatible, and because of this fact, they cannot conceive or
bear a child.[xl]
Many Nigerians marry blindly. Thanks
to Science that has proven and has continue to show that some reasons for
childlessness may not be demonic attacks as adduced by most Nigerians, but that
the couples themselves can never procreate because they are incompatible. Some married
wives are never pregnant, some men have low sperm count and some pregnancies
end up in miscarriages. These bitter experiences call for a notification that
there must be some medical certifications amongst would-be couple in order to
foresee disgruntled associations that end up in blames and shambles.
THE CONTEMPORARY NUANCES OF CHILDLESSNESS IN
NIGERIAN CONTEXT AND THE CORRUPT UNDERSTANDING OF MARRIAGE: EFFECTS OF
CHILDLESSNESS IN NIGERIAN MARRIAGES
The first burning
issue and injustice that should be penned at this point is that the wife or woman is often “the blamed”. She
is bathed with all the abuses and condemnation as the infertile even when it
has not been proven. The woman is always at the suffering end of the situation.
Childlessness in Nigeria is a personal disgrace. It is not accepted in the
community, it is even seen as a social fault in some communities. It often
leads to divorce or polygamy. This also has been the reason for “trial
marriages” in some communities to test the fertility of the woman.[xli]
The issues from above is a picture of wretchedness and
a miserable condition for the woman who strives to do all things just to remain
in her husband’s house while opposition mounts from all angles especially the
impatient mother-in-law who begins to see her as a witch and obstacle to her
son’s progress in life. The barren wife
all of a sudden becomes good-for-nothing in the eyes of the in-laws, she cannot
even cook or sweep, they would say!
The helplessness of the barren woman or the so-named childless-wife makes her irrevocably receptive
to any decision reached by her husband and/or the in-laws. And the first of
such despicable decisions is to marry a second wife or she chooses the
corollary of being thrown out of wedlock in humiliation. Hence, polygamy is
celebrated as redemption to humiliation and rejection. Under such pretexts, polygamy
is viewed as the only justified solution. Based on this, the Igbo people have
appealed to the same cultural values to justify levirate marriage as
substitutes for male impotency or infertility.[xlii]
In some marriages, even if there is a delay in
procreation, the man marries a second, third, fourth as long as he gets what he
wants. The emphasis on polygamy is common because the idea of divorce is not
prevalent in the African setting. According to Fadipe, though divorce is not
promoted in the Yoruba and Igbo cultures, for instance, yet it is allowed as
the last resort especially in the case of laziness, drunkenness, bad company or
infectious disease.[xliii]
Hence, there were cases of divorce in
African ancient history but they were uncommon.[xliv]
But with the advent of Christianity and its swallowing of western cultural
elements, divorce has become the panacea in the face of challenges. In
sincerity, one cannot count the number of divorces in Nigeria alone, because
the ones that are known are the ones brought out to the public. Meanwhile, divorce
as it is known is itself a shattered way of life.
Childlessness has also encouraged concubinage. For
those men who have recognised the difficulty and smartness involved in maintaining
a polygamous family, they secretly have established
families outside their homes. A second home where they play full-time roles as
fathers and husbands. But because a man
cannot serve two masters equally,
those men will never be able to distribute
affection and love evenly.
What can be gathered in all of these effects and
reactions to childlessness among Nigerian Christians is a debased idea
of Christian marriage in Nigeria. It is clear that the understanding of
marriage in Nigeria is still shallow and joggled amidst cultural affectations.
The departure to grasping the right nuance on marriage is to introspect its
foundation especially as it concerns particularly procreation and
communion.
What is seen
above is in disharmony with the Genesis account on marriage which stands as the
foundation for a proper deciphering of the nature, intention for marriage designed
by God- the creator of marriage. Herbert Vorgrimler avows that the content of
the passages concerning marriage in the first two chapters of Genesis is
astonishingly dense and at a very high level. It must be remarked immediately
that what they struck at first is the reality that woman and man were intended
by God to live in an equal partnership[xlv]
and to be mutually complementary for they were created in the image and
likeness of God.[xlvi]
The focus and the acme of this paper is the introspection of Genesis 2:18 and
its implications for the suitable understanding of marriage.
AN EXEGETICAL INTROSPECTION OF GENESIS 2:18: TOWARDS
A BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF THE GOALS OF MARRIAGE
The Lord God
said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will give him a suitable
companion.” (Genesis 2:18)
Genesis 2: 18-25 is located within Genesis 1-11, the
so-called ‘primeval history’ or the ‘pre-patriarchal history’. The documentary hypothesis places Genesis 2:
18-25 in the Yahwistic (J) source as expressions characteristic of this
document are found in Genesis 2: 14; 2:23. Genesis 2: 18 begins with God’s
statement “It is not good that the man be alone”- לבדו lebaddo. Obviously, the only thing that is not
good in the creation account is the loneliness of man.[xlvii]
Based on this fact, the Lord determined to make a helper suitable for him.[xlviii]
I will make him a help meet for him,
its Hebrew connotation has more
information other that a helper, עזר כנגדו ezer kenegdo means a help, a counterpart of
himself, one formed from him, and a perfect resemblance of his person. Some
other exegetes argue that כּנגדּו עזר may also mean, a help of his like: “that is a
helping being, in which, as soon as he sees it, he may recognise himself. In addition, the LXX renders it as I will
provide a help meet for him; literally, an helper, as over against him, -that
is- corresponding to him, βοηθὸν κατ αὐτόν, the expression
indicates that the forthcoming helper was to be of similar nature to the man
himself, corresponding by way of supplement to the incompleteness of his lonely
being, and in every way adapted to be his co-partner and companion. Furthermore,
the Hebrew word “”means help or succour.[xlix] The
word is at times used in the context of divine assistance cf. Isa. 30:5; Ezek.
12: 14 and Hos. 13:9. G. J. Wenham notes that “to help someone does not imply
that the helper is stronger than the helped; simply that the latter’s strength
is inadequate by itself Jos. 1:14, 10:4,6; 1 Chr. 12:17\ 19, 21, 22.[l] Also,
the Hebrew word; “” is
a compound preposition which means ‘like opposite of him, ‘his counterpart’ or
‘the other half of him’. The word is found only here (Genesis 2: 18) in the Old
Testament.[li]
This then means that the help looked for is not just assistance in his daily or
in the procreation of children but a mutual support and companionship for each
other.[lii]
What can be drawn from these exegetical illustrations is that
God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship and to provide an
illustration of our relationship with Him. Marriage is first and foremost to
fulfil our need for companionship, marriage must be a primary, permanent,
exclusive, and intimate relationship. There are serious allusions to this
biblical injunction that many families have forgotten today and because of that
they perish for my people perish for lack
of knowledge (Hosea 4:6).
(1) Companionship
requires that marriage be a primary relationship. God did not create a father
and mother for Adam, nor a child, but a wife. A man must leave father and mother in order to cleave to his wife to establish a one flesh relationship. This
means that the marriage relationship is primary, not the parent-child relationship.
The parent-child relationship must be altered before the marriage relationship
can be established. The cord must be cut. This does not mean abandoning parents
or cutting off contact with them. But it does mean that a person needs enough
emotional maturity to break away from dependence upon his parents to enter
marriage. And parents need to raise their children with a view to releasing
them. It also means that if a couple builds their marriage around their
children, or as more frequently happens, the husband builds his life around his
job while the wife builds her life around the children, they are heading for
serious problems when it is time for the nest to empty. It is not helping the
children, either. The best way to be a good parent to your children is to be a
good husband to their mother or a good wife to their father. Marriage must be
primary.[liii]
(2)
Companionship requires that marriage be a permanent relationship. This follows
from it being the primary relationship. Your children are with you in the home
a few years; your partner is with you for life. “Cleave”, as used in Genesis
2:24, means to cling to, to hold to, as bone to skin. It means to be glued to
something so when you get married, you are stuck! After Jesus quoted this
verse, He added, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate”
(Matt. 19:6). This means that the marriage relationship must be built primarily
on commitment, not on feelings of romantic love. Romantic love is important,
but the foundation of marriage is a commitment of the will. It is a covenant
before God (Mal. 2:14; Prov. 2:17). Commitment is what holds a couple together
through the difficulties that invariably come. Then the third factor indicated
here that characterizes true marriage is permanence. For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one
flesh. In the Hebrew text is the word dabag,
which means to adhere firmly, as if with glue. A husband is to cleave to his
wife. He forsakes all others and adheres to her. Whatever she may be like, he
is to hold to her. He is to stay with her, and she with him, because marriage
is a permanent thing.[liv]
(3) Companionship
requires that marriage be an exclusive relationship. The text says, “To his
wife,” not “wives.” Monogamy is God’s design: One man, one woman for life.
Although God tolerated polygamy in Old Testament times, it was not His original
intention. God easily could have created many wives for Adam, but He did not.
One man, one woman, for life- that is God’s design.[lv]
(4)
Companionship requires that marriage be an intimate relationship. “And they
shall become one flesh.” One flesh emphasizes the sexual union (1 Cor. 6:16).
But the sexual union is always more than just physical. There is relational and
emotional oneness as well. Most sexual problems in marriage stem from a failure
of total person intimacy. Sexual harmony must be built on the foundation of a
primary, permanent, exclusive relationship that is growing in trust, openness,
and oneness. God made us that way. That marriage is to involve a complete
identity. The two are to be one. Adam’s first reaction when he saw his wife
was, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, or, She is one being
with me.[lvi]
Summarily, it
is evident that an examination of Genesis 2:18 proves that the creation of
marriage by God is not primarily for procreation, rather woman was created for
companionship (Genesis 2:20) however that does not undermine the place for
procreation because as stated clearly in the preceding chapter- the first
account of creation, they are to jointly multiply and subdued the earth
(Genesis 1:27). Even though, it has been asserted earlier that most Nigerian
cultures if not all focus on procreation as the core of marriage, some
comparative studies carried by some notable scholars have ascertained that a
certain sense of this idea of companionship is also found in Nigerian cultures
like the Yoruba culture for instance. However, in these same cultures, there is
still an emphatic nuance on procreation as the ultimate end of marriage. It
largely appears that:
People get
married in order to get somebody to look after the home establishment, somebody
to help in selling farm products on
the market days, somebody to cook and take care of the compound.[lvii]
Perhaps
the most important reason for marriage in the Yoruba society is for
procreation. In other words, great importance is attached to children and
marriage that is not blessed with children is regarded accurse and complete
failure. It is commonly said in Yoruba land that “Omo
ni iyi, Omo ni eye igbeyawo” which literally means “a child is the pride
and joy of marriage”. This explains why delay in having children often leads to
serious problems which at times lead to divorce. Therefore, it is obvious that
sex is viewed mainly as a means of procreation. This tendency is revealed in
Yoruba statements like “je ka sere omo”, that is, “let us play the game
that leads to children”, which is another euphemism for sexual intercourse.[lviii]
CATHOLIC TEACHING ON THE NATURE AND ESSENTIAL
PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE: ENLIGHTENING NIGERIAN COUPLES
Sequel to the myriads
of problem rocking Nigerian families on the nature, properties and goals of
marriage, it is good to state clearly, drawing from the initiative of the
founder of marriage (God) as clearly shown in the exegetical notes, the
intrinsic purpose of marriage. For Christians, the nature and the essential properties
of marriage are clear, legislative and indicative for a noble understanding of
the sacrament of matrimony. Understanding this will dissipate all ignorance about
the goal of marriage and that will further provide a receptive attitude to
accepting some challenges that may even arise in matrimony.
The Catholic Church
has described the nature of Marriage in her Code
of Canon Law thus:
The marriage
covenant, by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership
of their whole life, and which of its own very nature is ordered to the
well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children,
has, between the baptised been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a
sacrament.[lix]
Partnership
is the first point that this theological definition underscores. By describing
marriage as a partnership or consortium[lx]
of the whole of life, the Church asserts emphatically that the spouses’
destinies are inextricably intertwined “in good times and in bad, in sickness
and health”.[lxi]
The Code puts it clear that even
though the good of children has long been considered an end of marriage, a
couple’s failure to produce offspring has not been considered a basis for the
nullity of their union, unless one or both of them were incapable of completing
a sexual act that was at least potentially open to the conception of new life
or excluded the other spouse’s right to such acts by positive act of the will.[lxii]
Also,
the Essential Properties of Marriage help us understand better and puts
Christians in spectrum of the true meaning of marriage cut off from all
cultural excessiveness. The Code
States:
The essential
properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility; in Christian marriage
they acquire a distinctive firmness by reason of the sacrament.[lxiii]
The
New Commentary on the Code of Canon Law states that unity as a property of marriage means that marriage is an exclusive
relationship between one man and one woman. In marriage, a man and a woman
mutually give and accept each other.[lxiv]
Post conciliar reflection on marriage as a communion has identified that the
violation to the unity of marriage does not include only an extra-marital
affair but an unhealthily close emotional relationship to one’s mother after
marriage with even daily visits, frequent telephone conversations mostly
unknown to his wife are all violations to matrimony.
Also,
to say marriage is indissoluble is to
affirm that marriage is a perpetual relationship which cannot be terminated,
only if death takes any of them.
PASTORAL PROBLEMS, RESPONSES AND GUIDELINES
CONCERNING CHILDLESSNESS IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES
The pastoral
problems that ensue from the discussions above have been summarily captured by Felix Igbineweka when he affirms:
Africans in general fall into these ‘crimes’ because
of their attitude towards procreation as the main aim of marriage. Catholic
adherents are the most affected because it creates serious tension between
their religious beliefs and their traditional practices. In the final analysis,
their faith gives away to their tradition. They prefer to lose their faith than
to remain in a childless marriage. This is a serious problem that has occupied
the minds of Christian leaders for a long time and series of suggestions have
been given to correct these anomalies between the Christian and traditional
Marriages.[lxv]
Most Nigerian Catholics have become highly
stiff-necked in their confrontations of some exceptional Church doctrines or legislations, hence, they either
reject these doctrines or laws or collapse into syncretism. Childlessness
constitutes serious pastoral problems in the community especially in the
reconciliation of many marriages that have dissipated because of the lack of
children or even the inability to bear a male child. The African Catholic bishops
being aware of the threat facing Christian marriages in the face of childlessness,
declared in their 5th Plenary Assembly:
As we realize the value and importance of fertility
for African people, we may legitimately ask ourselves whether or not the time
has come to examine this point and list it among the conditions of invalidity
for annulment of marriage. What, in fact are the consequences of our refusal to
take this point into account? Either the wife is purely and simply sent away
after a few years without any annulment of the marriage, thus making it impossible
for both husband and wife to approach, the Sacraments or if there is no separation,
the husband will take a second or third wife in other to get the children the first
wife did not give him.[lxvi]
The response to that effort is the renewed charge to
continue to uphold the teachings of the church on marriage as it concerns its
essential properties, ends and goals. Hence, the bishops note: It is with a
committed interest that we note that the “final proposition” of the African Synod,
submitted to the pope, sent everyone back to the drawing board thus: We
strongly affirmed the church’s teaching on the unity and indissolubility of
marriage as of divine origin.[lxvii]
What would therefore be the panacea in the viscous
ruptures that plague matrimony in Nigerian Christian communities? The first
answer to that is that Catholic pastors should intensify their effort in
catechizing the youths especially on the teaching of the Church on marriage. To
aid this, committees and centres should be created by the Diocese to fully
embrace the restoration of marriages and related problems. Pastoral care should
be given to them which will be geared towards regularizing such marriages.
More importantly for this essay, it is necessary to give
proper pastoral attention to families in difficulty resulting from
childlessness. This will help to prepare them to withstand the pressure from
the society towards entering into another simultaneous marriage. This can be
done by frequent visitations by the pastors.[lxviii]
Also, prayers must continually be offered on behalf of the couple. Pastors
might also offer advice in their adoption of children.
CONCLUSION
Victor Amole
truthfully remarked that:
“Difficult as
it might sound, matrimony aims at parenthood but it need not necessarily end in
parenthood. Apart from natural causes, there are also several causes that may
prevent a couple from having children and for which neither God nor the sacred
sacrament of matrimony can be blamed. The use of some ordinarily
legitimate drugs which caused morphological harm to be body is one of such
causes. Another could be due to a distant-past disease. Past acts of
promiscuity, abortion, use of contraceptives, etc. are other reasons. But
even for causes that are unknown and for couples who have claims to a faultless
past and therefore are deeply anguished at being childless, the truth remains
that “no person can claim the right to the existence of another, otherwise the
latter would be placed on a lower level of value than the one who claims such a
right. In reality, a child can never be understood as an ‘object of desire’ to
be obtained at any cost.”[lxix]
The true
Christian response to infertility is espoused in John Paul II’s statement that:
Even when procreation is not possible, conjugal life does not for this reason
lose its value. Physical sterility in fact can be for spouses the occasion for
other important services in the life of the human person, for example adoption,
various forms of educational work, and assistance to other families and to poor
or handicapped children.[lxx]
At the end of it all, fertility and infertility are beacons to the larger call
of love. The acceptance of the latter, bitter as it could be, is one of the
hallmarks of Christian discipleship. Finally, the Council Fathers remind
childless couples that even in cases where despite the intense desire of the
spouses there are no children, marriage still retains its character of being a
whole manner and communion of life and preserves its value and indissolubility.[lxxi]
[i] The more
reason why some African societies though loved their priests and really need their
spiritual guidance but are very slow to allowing their young ones or children
become priests- a kind of Yoruba dictum that says: Were dun
wo ko se’n bi lomo- The mad man is a funny character to people, but nobody
wants his child mad.
[ii] Code of Canon Law (Bangalore:
Theological Publications in India, 2011), 1056
[iii] Ubuntu is a
South African concept that means “We are therefore I am” the term is also
present in most of our African cultures like the Ashanti people of Ghana too. It
captures the idea that we are all related, interdependent and connected. See Frank Lipman, “Ubuntu: We Are,
Therefore I am” in Thewellness Magazine, www.thewellnesswire.com (07/04/2014)
[iv] Rene Descartes
through his Cogito Ergo Sum asserts some
individualistic ideologies, the summary is the philosophy that the
individualistic man is the determinant of the world. The “I” exists to do the
thinking and so the “I” asserts everything else.
[v] Ogunkunle C.
O., “An Exegetical Study Of Genesis 2:18:25 and Its Application To The Yoruba
Marriage And Custom” in Insight Journal
On Religious Study, Department of Religion (Ilorin: University of Ilorin), 11
[vi] Laurenti Magesa, African
Religion: The Moral Traditions of Abundant Life (New York: Orbis Books,
1998), 120
[ix] Peter J. Paris, The
Spirituality of African Peoples: The Search for a common Moral Discourse
(Minneapolis: Fortress Press 1995), 55
[x] Joseph Healey & Donald Sybertz, Towards An African Narrative Theology
(Nairobi: Paulines Publications Africa, 1995), 78
[xii] Felix E. Igbineweka, The Sacrament of Marriage and Childlessness in Edo Pastoral Problems
and possible solutions (Rome: Tipograficat Leberit,1987), 52
[xiii] Julie Hanlon
Rubio, A Christian Theology of Marriage and
Family (New York: Paulist Press, 2003), 4-5
[xiv] Cyril Osiare
Onyema, Recreating the World Through the Family
(Benin-City: Fojo, 2012), 25
[xv] Cyril Osiare
Onyema, Recreating the World Through the
Family, 5
[xvi] Herbert
Vorgrimler, Sacramental Theology
(Collegeville: The Liturgical Press, 1992), 283
[xvii] The present
era is, in contrast, characterized by serious crises, two of which should be
mentioned, the increasing inability of couples to maintain successful
relationships, and the rapid decline of the authority of the Catholic Church in
marriage matters (Herbert Vorgrimler, Sacramental
Theology, p. 285). The explication of these different situations range from
the widespread practice of cohabitation, which does not lead to marriage, and
sometimes even excludes the idea of it, to same-sex unions between persons, who
are, not infrequently, permitted to adopt children. Furthermore, more new
situations requiring the Church’s attention and pastoral care include: mixed or
inter-religious marriages; the single-parent family; polygamy; marriages with
the consequent problem of a dowry, sometimes understood as the purchase price
of the woman; the caste system; a culture of non-commitment and a presumption
that the marriage bond can be temporary; forms of feminism hostile to the
Church; migration and the reformulation of the very concept of the family;
relativist pluralism in the conception of marriage; the influence of the media
on popular culture in its understanding of marriage and family life; underlying
trends of thought in legislative proposals which devalue the idea of permanence
and faithfulness in the marriage covenant; an increase in the practice of
surrogate motherhood (wombs for hire); and new interpretations of what is
considered a human right. Within the Church, faith in the sacramentality of
marriage and the healing power of the Sacrament of Penance show signs of
weakness or total abandonment (Synod of Bishops, Extraordinary General
Assembly, Pastoral Challenges to the
Family in the Context of Evangelization- Preparatory Document for the Synod
in October, no. 1). The Council Fathers continued that the happy picture of the
dignity of marriage is often truncated by polygamy, the plague of divorce, so
called free-love, and similar blemishes. Furthermore, married love is often too
dishonoured by selfishness, hedonism, and unlawful contraceptive practices. See “Gaudium et Spes”- Pastoral
Constitution on the Church in the Modern World,
in the Documents of Vatican II-
the Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents, Vol.1 edited by Austin Flannery
(Bangalore: Theological Publication in India, 2010), 47
[xviii] Julie Hanlon
Rubio, A Christian Theology of Marriage
and Family, 84
[xix] John Paul II, On the Family (Washington D.C: United
States Conference, 1981), 11
[xx] John Paul II, On the Family, 14
[xxi] Synod Of
Bishops, Extraordinary General Assembly, Pastoral
Challenges to the Family in the Context of Evangelization- Preparatory
Document for the Synod in October, 2013 (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice
Vaticana, 2013), 1
[xxii] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae- on the Value and Inviolability of Human Life (Vatican City: Libreria
Editrice Vaticana,1995), 11
[xxiii] Cyril Osiare
Onyema, Recreating the World through the
Family, 25
[xxiv]
Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane,
Letter to Families (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1994), 2
[xxv] Pope John Paul
II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to
Families, 7
[xxvi] John Paul II, Post
Synodal Apostolic Exhortation- Christi
Fideles Laici (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1988), 40
[xxvii] John Paul II, Encyclical
Letter- Centesimus Annus (Vatican
City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1991), 39
[xxviii] We are called,
by creation and from the beginning to enter into a communion of persons so that
we may increase and multiply and to enter into a communion so that the earth
might be subdued. Of course, the first communion is the family, the second is
that found in the workplace. In both communion, the activity of man and woman
reflects the acts of God, not only in the self-gift which established the
communions, but also in the effects of the self-gifts. See, Richard M. Hogan and John M. Levoir “Pope John Paul II on
Love, Sexuality, Marriage and Family” in Marriage:
Readings in Moral Theology edited by Charles E. Curran and Julie Hanlon Rubio-
no 15- (New York: Paulist Press, 2009), 81
[xxix] Pope John Paul
II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to
Families, 6
[xxx] Catechism of the Catholic Church (Nairobi:
Paulines Publications Africa, 1994), 1666
[xxxi] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae- on the Value and Inviolability of Human Life, 92
[xxxii] “Lumen
Gentium”, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church in the Documents of Vatican II- the Conciliar and Post-Conciliar
Documents, Vol.1 edited by Austin Flannery (Bangalore: Theological Publication
in India, 2010),10
[xxxiii] Gaudium et
Spes”- Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, 52
[xxxiv] Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1657
[xxxv] Pontifical
Council for Justice and Peace, Compendium
Of The Social Doctrine Of The Church (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice
Vaticana, 2005), republished by St. Paul Book Centre, 141
[xxxvi] Patrick Okafor,
“Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study” in www.patrickokafor.com (3/4/2014)
(PDF BOOK FORMAT), 6
[xxxvii] Patrick
Okafor, “Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study”,
6
[xxxviii] Patrick
Okafor, “Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study”,
6
[xxxix] Patrick
Okafor, “Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study”,
6
[xli] Benezet Bujo, African
Theology in its Social Context (Nairobi: Paulines Publications, Africa,
1999), 107.
[xliii] Fadipe N. A, The
Sociology of the Yoruba (Ibadan: University Press, 1970), 90
[xliv] Felix E. Igbineweka, The
Sacrament of Marriage and Childlessness in Edo Pastoral Problems and Possible
Solutions, 111.
[xlv] There seems to be a
distorted view of the relationship between husband and wife. Our culture has
established an unwritten rule that needs to be eradicated. Wives are not to be
viewed as inferior servants. They have much more to contribute than sexual
pleasure, clean clothes, and hot meals. They were created to stand along-side
the man. The protestant Scripture Scholar, Matthew Henry said, “The woman
was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule
over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side
to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be
beloved.” Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible
in Six Volume (Mclean, Virginia: MacDonald Publishing Company, 1706), 1:20
[xlvi] Herbert
Vorgrimler, Sacramental Theology, 286
[xlvii] Cf. Genesis
1:31
[xlviii] Ogunkunle C.
O., “An Exegetical Study Of Genesis 2:18:25 and Its Application To The Yoruba
Marriage And Custom” in Insight Journal
On Religious Study, Department of Religion, 3
[xlix] Francis Brown,
S.R. Driver; & Charles A. Briggs, The New
Brown-Driver-Briggs- Gesenius Hebrew and English Lexicon with An Appendix
containing the Biblical Aramaic (Peabody, Massachusetts: Hendrickson
Publishers, 1979), 773.
[l] Ogunkunle C.
O., “An Exegetical Study Of Genesis 2:18:25 and Its Application To The Yoruba
Marriage And Custom” in Insight Journal
On Religious Study, Department of Religion, 3
[li] Wenham G.J., Genesis
1-15, Word Biblical Commentary
(Waco, Texas: Word Books Publishers, 1987), 68
[lii] Wenham G.J., Genesis
1-15, Word Biblical Commentary,
68
[liii] Steven J.
Cole, “Lesson: God’s Design for Marriage- Genesis 2:18-25” in Taafoo, www.bible.org (2/04/2014)
[liv] Steven J.
Cole, “God’s Design for Marriage- Genesis 2:18-25”
[lv] Steven J.
Cole, “God’s Design for Marriage- Genesis 2:18-25”
[lvi] Steven J.
Cole, “God’s Design for Marriage- Genesis 2:18-25”
[lvii] Adekoya M. I.,
“An Examination of the Biblical Concept of Marriage in Genesis 2: 18-25 and its
relevance to Yoruba Culture”. A Long Essay Submitted to the
Faculty in Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Degree of Bachelor of
Theology at the United Missionary Church of Africa Theological College, Ilorin
(May 2005), 67
[lviii] Ogunkunle C.
O., “An Exegetical Study Of Genesis 2:18:25 and Its Application To The Yoruba
Marriage And Custom” in Insight Journal
On Religious Study, Department of Religion, 13
[lix] Code of Canon Law, 1055. Unlike the 1917 Code which offered no definition of
marriage, the 1983 Code begins its
treatment of marriage with a description or definition culled from Gaudium et Spes, no 48. This definition
is a theological statement that has been cast into juridical language. See New Commentary on Code of Canon Law,
edited by John Beal, James Coriden, Thomas Green (Bangalore: Theological
publications in India, 2010), 1240
[lx] Canon 1008 of
the 1980 schema had spoken of marriage not as a consortium but as a communion,
a more intimate union of minds and hearts. However, the code submission
replaced the term “communion” with consortium
was less ambiguous than communio and
better rooted in the juridical tradition. Nevertheless, “communion” was the
term preferred by John Paul II in his 1982 Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio. See,
New Commentary on Code of Canon Law,
1243
[lxi] John Beal,
et.al, New Commentary on Code of Canon
Law, 1243
[lxii] John Beal,
et.al, New Commentary on Code of Canon
Law, 1245
[lxiii] Code of Canon Law, 1056
[lxiv] John Beal,
et.al, New Commentary on Code of Canon
Law, 1249
[lxv] Felix E. Igbineweka, The Sacrament of Marriage and Childlessness in Edo Pastoral Problems
and Possible Solutions, 117.
[lxvi] Elochukwu E. Uzukwu, A Listening Church: Autonomy and Communion in African Churches (New
York: Orbis Books, 1996), 147
[lxvii] Patrick
Okafor, “Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study”,
19
[lxviii] Patrick
Okafor, “Educational Resource on Marriage in Africa- Nigeria as a Case Study”,
19
[lxix] Victor Bimbo Amole,
“Of Christianity, Infertility and Ethics in Nigeria” in Academia.edu, www.academia.edu.org (02/04/2014)
[lxx] John Paul II,
Apostolic Exhortation- Familaris
Consortio (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1982), 14
[lxxi] Gaudium et
Spes”- Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, 50
