YOUTHS AND THE HOLY EUCHARIST

Some youths got so concerned on Sunday- the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ. This concern was also shared in their priests’ homily that morning. What is this concern? Catholic Youths are avoiding the Holy Eucharist or should I say they have ditched the Holy Eucharist. On Sundays, take a look at the queue of those coming forward for Holy Communion. The statistics is always the same; majority are above 40 years old, children between 7-15 years old and then you have a sprinkling of youths here and there. What is the problem?

As true Catholics we know there is only one problem. It is sin! What kind of sin though? They said to me (and of course I know) if we want to be honest there is only one terrible sin that plagues contemporary youths- fornication (in all its ramifications- masturbation, pornography and others). It is actually something we must talk about. Shy as we may be or unimportant as some may think, we need to collectively confront this sin and look at it “eyeball to eyeball.” More than this, we must talk about our attitude to the Eucharist, our sins for abandoning the Eucharist and how to come back to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

We are living in an “adulterous” generation. We are soaked in obscenities. We are submerged in immoralities. Sexual immoralities are celebrated everywhere. Immoral sexual behaviours and activities make “most liked” headlines. Sexually-stimulating personalities and stories are noisily celebrated and searched. On bill boards, televisions, cinemas, advertisements, music and of course the internet- it is all about sex and sex-provoking materials. It is so sad that simple advertisements for toothpastes and bathing soaps are also sexualized. The most appalling of all is our confused comedians who lack contents but only display gross foolery in sexualizing and demeaning women in their godforsaken skits. But guess what? We watch them, laugh at their irritating and ridiculous videos, clap for them and then shortly turn around crying that women are being raped, shamed and humiliated- how beautiful is our hypocrisy!

Dear youths, we all live in this salacious generation and we are tempted alike. We know our society is sexually volatile and immorally combustive. But have we lost our virtues of self-control, self-restraint and self-discipline? Many of us have thrown caution into the wind; listening to false mantras and polluting our consciousness with weak standards. I know wisdom is very rare these days but we should never be found where insanity thrives. We cannot continue living like this- wasting our youth and destroying the future.

The profuse voluptuous fantasies, sexual escapades and anomalies are the reasons why marriage is becoming a “shameful” institution. When you have had tons and loads of sexual encounters, “exes” and partners, do you think all of a sudden you will be faithful to the one who probably caught you in-between? You have done despicable things for sex and you think all will be well eventually? You need to think! You need to stop destroying your body, it is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). You need to respect your body or else that body will fail you in the future.

Fornication is fornication, it is not fun! Stop hiding behind your fingers. Once you ignore your self-control button, you have already clicked the self-destruct button. Calm down, build a strong relationship outside sexual activities. Premarital sex is a sin! Don’t be deceived by the world. What is wrong is wrong and can never be right! Fight yourself! Fight your sexual urges! Fight your immoral appetites! Even animals have some restraints! We can do better.

I am deeply disturbed by the amount of youths who have succumbed to this “depraved way of life.” Where is the future? When youths are too weak to shape the future. Where is the future of sane morality? When youths endorse, clap and praise thieves, Instagram big boys and naked Instagram girls. Where is the future for life? When aborted babies are more than the ones delivered. Where is the future of modesty? When all we see nowadays are rags looking like clothes. Where is the future of hard work, honesty and sincerity? When yahoo lords, scammers, money launders and ritualists are the mentors to youths. Where is the future of leadership? When politics is all about godfatherism, plots, lies and endless stealing.

Dear youths, return to Jesus Christ in Holy Eucharist. Live modest lives (Stop lying to yourself). Resist temptations and keep yourself sane. Avoid pornography; lead yourself not into temptation, be delivered from all evil. No one is perfect, we must struggle. When we sin, we must run to the sacrament of Penance- confession. Forget the shame or confidentiality, no priest is ready to see your face or tag you with any sin (Is he righteous himself? Are we not all sinners?). No priest is ready to divulge what you have confessed- there is what is called confessional secrecy which is binding on all priests. If you are not comfortable with this priest, go to that priest. There are abundant priests who are ready to reconcile us back to God. They sit at the confessional just for this singular purpose. Remember, no sin is bigger than God.

Dear youths, prepare yourself for the Holy Mass. Don’t jump into it. Don’t catch it on the way. Be at the beginning and do not leave before the end. Do not sleep during the Holy Mass, participate actively. Begin your preparations from Saturday evening. Come to confession, wash yourself clean, serve at Mass (Choir, Lector, Warden e.t.c). Make sure you receive Jesus Christ at every Mass. He will keep you away from sin. He will give you strength to resist temptations. He will grant you a peaceful and joyful life. Do not be grounded by despondency or obstinacy (sin against the Holy Spirit). At the confessional, our Lord Jesus is waiting for you to lavishly pour His mercy on you. Will you embrace Him or keep running away from Him?

BOYS WILL BE BOYS? THE PLIGHT OF THE BOY CHILD

 On the 16th of May, 2020, the whole world was silent. Everyone forgot the International Boy’s Day. It is not the first time the world is forgetting the boy child; the world has always forgotten him.

Every year, Mothers’ day is celebrated every Sunday for about two months particularly in Nigeria. Fathers’ day is celebrated once or twice too and of course loudly. The girl child celebration comes in many shades, we cannot even name it all.Boys are always forgotten.

Yet, we complain everyday of the increasing atrocities, crimes, scandals, rapes, kidnappings, killings, robberies, cultism perpetuated largely by boys.
Before now, we would think of these crimes perpetuated by boys within the age range of 28-39 and falsely conclude that they are useless men who lacked morality and home training.

However, in recent times, we have seen the younger generations taking over the scenes of these atrocities. We see 12 years old boys sign up as cultists, we see cultism in our secondary schools, we see 10 years old boys raping younger and even older girls. We see boys of 16 – 25 years, doing things that were unthinkable in the past.

Anytime a band of yahoo-yahoo boys are rounded up, I am always interested in their age brackets. Sadly, they are always between the ages of 16 and 35, with the majority of them being 16-25.

More terrible things are happening right in our homes. Days ago, a true-life story was posted on our Church’s WhatsApp Group of a woman whose home had just been shattered by her own children. I was destabilized. What happened? To keep it short and simple…
During this coronavirus-lockdown, the 54 year old woman’s son of 17 years old impregnated his two sisters of 15 and 13 years old. The woman is a Christian and a widow.

Last week, I saw the “boys will be boys” tags on Twitter and Instagram, I really didn’t bother to follow all the tweets or posts because I know already what the phrase connotes.

In the past, the “boys will be boys” phrase was used to explain a boy’s natural tendency to be adventurous, hyper-active, and do risky activities which potentially resulted in hurting themselves (Urban Dictionary).

However, nowadays, thanks to some Feminists, the phrase is used as an attempt to imply that sexual assaults and related crimes are normal activities to boys. Unfortunately, many have keyed into this latter understanding.

The ‘boys will be boys’ appellation has now bred, and is still breeding male children who hardly strive to be responsible men in future. Hence, when there is an inexcusably morally depraved action, we excuse them because society has made us believe its okay. We say that cheating in marriage is part of the male chromosome. We say rape was because the girl didn’t dress decently.

Boys can beat their wives and girlfriends and it’s fine. We have “unknowingly” endorsed boys to be profligate, to keep late nights, to lord it over their wives, to be unaccountable for their actions, to be exempted from house chores and home keeping, to be exempted from cooking and kitchen chores, to be great eaters, to be dirty and to be mischievous.

We have taught them to be emotionless, never to cry (boys don’t cry), to repress emotions, to bear unnecessary burdens, to be hideous, to be supermen, to like football, to play games, to be “manly”, never to be effeminate, to be assertive, to always have their ways, never to be virgins, to grab whatever they like, to be macho-muscled men, to flaunt their muscle, to prove their worth at every instance, to show themselves, but also, and sadly, to be mentally sick and psychologically unstable.

Parents and guardians, the simple truth is that most of our boys are sick. They are lost, invisible and forgotten. Many boys are sexually abused every day right from their infanthood. Many boys are being abused psychologically every day by friends and peers. Many boys are exploited everyday by family and strangers.

I heard the story of a guy who has satiriasis. He narrated his ordeal to one of his female friends about the impossibility of not having sex in a day. He anchored this insatiable lust to the ugly experiences he had with their house maid right from when he was four years old and how from that time onwards, he hated himself. The only thing that gives him relief is more sex.

I heard the story of another boy who was sexually abused by his step mom. What about the story the 6 year old boy who accompanies his step father to beer parlours, where he would have to listen to the many tales of the man’s many sexual escapades with prostitutes, amidst heavy drinking and thick puffs of smoke? The poor boy soon copied his step Dad’s habits.

Abused boys grow up to become abusers, and this is largely manifesting in our society today. Majority of the rapists, cheaters, cultists, robbers, kidnappers, wife-beaters, angry dads, and irresponsible fathers wrecking homes and families are victims of abuse.

They were abused psychologically, sexually, emotionally, financially or otherwise. Many more who are currently being abused are also prepping to become potential abusers. Hence, we continue an endless vicious circle of abusers.

Dear Parents and Guardians, each boy is important and in this race of life, nobody should be left behind. The International Boys’ Day is a clarion call to pay attention to our boys. It is a call to train every boy to become a man of honour and integrity, able to contribute vital way to his family, his community, his nation and to make the world a better place for boys and girls everywhere (See HERE for further information).

The Global and Regional Coordinators for World Day of The Boy Child has offered some professional suggestions as part of our collective efforts to help our boys:
1.    Re-write the narrative on strength and masculinity by equating strength with vulnerability.
2.    Facilitate and moderate Global and National Town Halls which serve as venues for boys and adolescent males to engage in a “straight-no chaser dialogue” to express to key stakeholders what they need and want to safely and successfully navigate the arduous journey from boyhood to manhood.
3.    Identify and support existing initiatives which have a successful track record of addressing and helping to eradicate the
(A)academic underperformance of boys and adolescent males and their mischaracterization as being “unteachable”, “intellectually challenged”, and “behaviour problems”;
(B) rising incidence of depression and suicide among boys and adolescent males;
(C) recruitment and utilization of boys and adolescent males as child soldiers;
(D) underlying causes of poverty which lead to boys and adolescent males working full-time to support their families and not attending school;
(E) literacy gap for boys and adolescent males;
(F) lack of legitimate real-life options; and
(G) lack of positive male role models (see www.bmanadvocacy.org)

We need to save the boy Child so as to save our world. We have to focus on boys and their wellbeing. This includes the things they need in order to be happy, healthy and valued in their families and communities.
Unless we rise up in every home to save them, we will continue to suffer the pains and afflictions boys can unleash on the world. God bless all our boys!
© Rev. Fr. ‘Wale Victor IBIYEMI, June, 2020.