LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN (MATTHEW 5:16): THE NYSC IN FOCUS

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN (MATTHEW 5:16): THE NYSC IN FOCUS

Can you imagine our country without NEPA failure… can you imagine 24 hours light supply… can you imagine a situation when everywhere can be always lighted up again. Up Nepa!

This little light of mine... am gonna let it shine!

A community without its youths is a dead society. It is dead because it has no future, it has no light hence, it is blind and moribund. Soon all the old ones or elderly will die, who then are those to succeed such society? Indeed, there is no society that does not have its youths, no matter how small they are, there must be those that will continue the existence of that society, if there are none, the society will definitely go into extinction. Even in those communities where the minority is a collection of youths, the development and progress of that community is at stake. All these point out forcefully the significant place of the youths in the society. The more reason why societies should begin to invest seriously on the youths since they are the ones that will bear the torch of excellence for the continuity of the society.

The Nigerian experience has been a failure. In the political arena for instance, the youths have little or no space at all. Why? The old men who think they have the monopoly of politics have remained on seat so long as they cannot remember. Hence, it is often said that nobody enters the Aso Rock and wants to come back alive, they all want to die in power. You can imagine what an 88 year old man wants to do in office when there are energized men who can do better. The European governments will continue to be paradigms for us in this regard. How old is Obama if we may ask? It is clear that youths are not given a fair place to exercise their potentials in the Nigerian society except for their employment as prostitutes, thugs, bodyguards and agbero as they are often called.

It is good therefore to impress it on our minds and the minds of our leaders that the youths should and must be trained to rule and guide this nation which eventually will be their task in the nearest future. Once again, the place and roles of youths in our society cannot be negotiated, it cannot be undermined. The future of this country lies in their hands and the better our Youths are the better for the future of this country.

YOUTHS AS LIGHT FOR THE FUTURE

You are the light in the world (Matthew 5:13-14)- this is one of those statements which should cause us to lift up our heads and make us realize once more what a remarkable and glorious thing it is to be a Christian. Imbued in our Christian vocation is the injunction to be light in the world. It may well be said that this is the greatest compliment that was ever paid to the individual Christian, for in it Jesus commands the Christian to be what he himself claimed to be. Jesus said: “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world” (John 9:5). This Christian injunction to be lights in the world demands nothing less than being like Christ in every respect. For once we are in darkness but we have seen a great light (Ephesians 5:8). We have not only received light but we have been made lights ourselves so that we might also become transmitters. We must understand the meaning of being lights in the world. When Jesus used this concept for his disciples, he meant that 1) A light is first and foremost something which must be seen. Hence, Christianity is something which is meant to be seen. There can be no such thing as secret discipleship. That Christianity also must be visible not only in the Church or within the Church premises but it must be seen in every ordinary activity of the Christian. 2) A light is a guide. Christians must therefore make the way clear to others. That is, Christians must necessarily be examples. 3) A light can often be a warning light which tells others to halt or to wait, there is danger ahead. It is sometimes the duty of Christian to bring others to necessary warning. It is important to finally note that as authentic Christians, it is not our light we must radiate, it is the light of Christ that we must reflect. Every individual is capable of a certain relative understanding of light, if that is the light we must shine, then we would soon see the impoverish status of our different lights but when we wear Christ cloak and therefore radiate his light then we become authentic Christians and ministers of Christ in our society and environment.   

With these understandings of light, we will begin to understand why the Youths are not just the reality for the future but that they are and must be the lights for the future as well.  

BUT WHERE DO WE GET THIS LIGHT FROM?

When we are baptised, we were given the light of Christ, symbolised by the baptismal candle- God came to life and shone his light in our souls. The purpose of our baptism is to make us lights to the world for Jesus. Jesus equally told us that he who believes in him and does not remain in darkness will have the light of life (John 3:). We therefore are behoved to show to the whole world what we must be.    

OUR DARKENED WORLD

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. (John 3:19-20)

Would there be any need of light, if there was no darkness? Hence, the term or word light presupposes the dark. Truly, our society is darkened. In all the tiers of societal life, there is need for the radiance of light. There are many indications of the darkness that is looming our nation. To mention all in this write-up is an illusion but for the purpose of the focus of this edition of the magazine, it would be apt to mention a few. 

Corruption, a household named in Nigeria is the fountain of all our troubles. It is grossly unfortunate that Nigeria continue to grow daily in this crime and no hope of redemption- for much has been preached on this topic to effect a rapid metanoia. When we talk of corruption, we often think it is only those in government that are affected. In truth, most Nigerians are corrupt in one way or the other. This is a significant darkness that we must shed light on.

Terrorism is another epidemic that the whole nation is suffering currently. We are sickened with the news of bomb blasts and killings every day on the media. Even in some quarters, Borno especially, it has become a normal thing as to a routine in their environment to hear these things. The prevalence of these heinous acts suggests only one fundamental reality, that “life” has become a cheap commodity in our society and that it can be traded for any other thing. This is perplexing and disturbing that in an African culture, human life has become something grossly redundant. It’s a shame! 

There are many other darkness in our society. In fact, everything contradicting the gospel of Christ is not light therefore it is darkness (1Corinthians). The darkness of prostitution, malpractice, kidnapping, quarrels, malice, theft, abortion, lying, sexual misconducts, rituals, killing etc.

The more disturbing phenomenon about these evils is that most of them are executed through the instrumentality of youths. Whether they do them of their own conviction or whether they were forced is inconsequential. When these youths grow to become adults, what would they become? If they can execute these terrible deeds when they are youths, they will plan more when they are adults. What hope do we have in the future for a peaceful society?  

However, that there are problems and difficulties in our society does not suggest that it is a bad community all together. We are the beams of light that must enlighten this world and make our society a better place for us all.  

YOUR LIGHT MUST SHINE!

When Matthew gives that injunction that your light must shine, it implies that you must be a group of believers and disciples who will be highly visible because of the unusually dedicated character of your lives, who will illuminate the world as light does, and who will sanctify, purify and preserve the world in its relationship to God like salt. As light, you must shed the radiance of the Good News of God’s saving presence, into the darkness of an alienated humanity. What this injunction tells us is that as Corps members and more as Christians, our mission is that of witnessing. Pope Paul VI in Evangelium Nutiandi has said that the world needs more of witnesses than preachers. The injunction also harbours a warning that a community which does not live out this Christian mandate to become shining examples of the faith, which has so adjusted itself to the values of the world that its lifestyle no longer challenges it, is fit only to be thrown out.

Furthermore, the injunction- Let your light shine before men! Connotes further two important things: 1) people are to see our good deeds. These goods deeds that you must exemplify must not only be good but must also be attractive. Hence, we must be Christian youths whose goodness makes everything loving. 2) It is further to be noted that our good deeds ought to draw attention not to ourselves but to God. You must never think of what you have done but think only of what God has enabled you to do.

Our light must essentially shine not only in words but deeds. We are called to reflect the light of Jesus into the dark room of our brothers and sisters- the people we see every day, who otherwise may not receive this light. A little girl once stood in Church staring in amazement at the sun streaming through stained glass windows. With wonder in her little voice she said, “Now I know what Christians are! They are people through whom the light of Christ shines.”    

In Ancient Greece, the runner who won the race was not the one who crossed the line in the shortest time, but the man who crossed the finish line in the shortest line with his torch still burning. Our goal as Christians is that we may cross the line into eternity with the light of Christ that we received at our baptism still shining brightly. 

AFTER SERVICE WHAT NEXT?

Many have opined that The NYSC service year is an all-important decision-making year for the Nigerian Youth. Generally, it is the time of great decision when most important choices of life are made. The choice of a vocation, the choice of a life partner, the choice of religion, the choice of life and other choices. So, after service what kind of Citizen/Nigerian do you want to be? I think we should begin to ask ourselves these serious questions. Not just what kind of person do you want to be, but also, what will your contributions be to making this nation you have claimed to serve this year, a worthwhile place for us all to live? What kind of family do you want to raise? What influence do you want to impact on others? We must never be bound to the ruse theory that if you cannot beat them, join them. We need to stand out as true Christian youths living a life worthy of emulation and a life worthy of praise. In fact, we must live as lights in our society shining as torches in the tunnels and dark crannies of our society. In short, your flame must be exemplary! You must remain dedicated as ever to Christ and to his Church. 

SPECIFIC AREAS THAT WE MUST SHINE OUR LIGHT

Shining our lights means that our Christianity must be evident in everything that we do. We must live Christ-like lives. The Christ-like life is the platform on which individual testimony becomes convincing. We cannot even claim to have relationship with Christ without shining his light. Our responsibility therefore as disciples and Christians is to live so transformed by the Word and the inward presence of Christ that everyone can see his light reflected in our acts of kindness.

CLOTHING

LANGUAGE

PRAYERS

OUR WORSHIP      

CONCLUDING REMARKS

At a time like this when we gather together from East and West, from North and south, when we gather together in the name of Jesus Christ, O Lord arise and Shine!

It has come to a point in this country when we need a turn-around, we need a change and that change must begin with you. Why? Because you are the leaders of tomorrow and nobody can rob that from you. In order not to find ourselves in much disasters as we are experiencing in our country these days, our youths-you- need to get it right from the start that we cannot continue to live like this in Nigeria, else we recede into a collapse. We must all together, Arise and Shine. Wherever you find yourselves tomorrow, know for sure that you are an ambassador of the Catholic Faith and therefore you have no other choice but to shine forth for all men to see your light. Anything less that shinning forth is not accepted and hence not qualified to be called Christians.      

A little boy was standing in an alley with a broken piece of glass, reflecting the light of the sun to a third story window. A police officer came by and scolded him asking, “what mischief are you up to now? The boy said to the officer, “Nothing sir, my little brother is sick and can’t leave our apartment up there on the third floor where no sunlight ever gets into his room. The only sunlight he ever sees is what I reflect from this little bit of glass.  

RUN THE RACE WITH PERSEVERANCE (HEB 12:1-2)

IBIYEMI AKINWALE VICTOR

INTRODUCTION

The Letter to the Hebrews could be summarized as a text that perfectly captures the experience of the Christian faith. It sets out to define the Christian Faith in Chapter 11 and then indicate further in Chapter 12 and the following on how the faith should be lived in the Christian community even in the Christian liturgy. It is therefore a recommended text-book for Catholics especially in this year of faith which has been promulgated by the Church as a moment when we all need to rediscover our faith. (Porta Fidei, no. 4). Hence, the objectives of the Year of Faith could be spelt out thus:

1.      Encounter Christ anew

2.      Rediscover faith

3.      More conscious and vigorous adherence to the Bible

4.      Arouse aspiration and readiness to profess the faith

5.      Intensify the celebration of the faith in the Liturgy

6.      Deeper devotion to the Eucharist

7.      Learn more from the Blessed Mother Mary, the model of Christian faith

8.      Celebrate the heroic virtues of the Saints.    

Today, what we have before us is a “directive’ and injunction by the author of the Letter to the Hebrews, “TO RUN THE RACE WITH PERSEVERANCE”. Indeed we need to ask ourselves what race we are running. What is the goal of this race? Why do we need perseverance? Of what value is the level of our perseverance? What happens when we lose our perseverance? Especially as it concerns you the NFSC of this hallowed Church? 

Many people think that Christianity is supposed to be a walk in the park. However, if you were to ask the Hebrew Christians in the first century, I think they would speak differently about what Christianity is. If we were to look at the whole book of Hebrews, especially chapter 10, we would see that the author refers to the persecution, hostility, and torture that these Christians were facing. Some of the members had grown lax in their attendance. Some members had been imprisoned, and others suffered the confiscation of their property. They were also facing public abuse and ridicule. Now we don’t face the same kind of persecution in our culture as the first century Hebrew Christians faced, but our lives are not perfect even though we claim Jesus as Lord. Maybe this is why instead of describing Christian faithfulness as a walk through the park, the author describes it as a race, and not just a short sprint, but a long race that requires endurance.

THE ANALOGIES: RACE, RUNNING, GOAL AND PERSEVERANCE

Have you ever run a race? Have you ever won a medal or a trophy for running a race? It is a thrill to run a race and hear the voices of the people who are watching as they shout words of encouragement. It is an even greater thrill when you finish the race and win a medal or a trophy.

It is obvious that the writer of Hebrews is drawing upon the imagery of the Olympic Games for this passage. Let me briefly explain the analogies in the pericope before us.

 We are not called to be sprinters. We are called to “run with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.” We are called to “run with perseverance”. That means that we are to run until God says stop. We are called to be marathoners... cross country runners. Marathoners run more than sprinters.  In our lives therefore as Christians, we are called to a race- a race that is not short but a race that is enduring until Christ says, it is finished.

Are we just running for nothing? I Cor. 9:24-27 answers that, the Word of the Lord says, we are running for a wreath! ‘St. Paul says: “have you not learnt anything from a race in a stadium? Many run but one gets the prize.. Run therefore intending to win. I run knowing where I go” The goal of (Heavenly Race… I no go tire, heavenly race) our race is Heaven. The goal of our race is holiness, we are running to aim at Faith (2 Tim 2:22). Hence, it is a race of faith. The passage gave further requirements to run the: it talks about laying aside every encumbrance that restricts us and every sin that hinders us. 

SLASHING BEHIND EVERYTHING AND THE WAVE OF SIN

Note that this directive is very open ended. It doesn’t list the things that hinder. It simply asserts that we are to throw off “everything” that does. There are some things that hinder everyone, but there are an infinite number of things that may hinder a particular person. That is why there is not a list. God makes each of us aware of the things that hinder us. We then become responsible for stripping them off. The church, the collective conscious of God’s people, have noted things that Christians are to avoid because experience has revealed that these things consistently hinder Christians in running the race. Don’t take their instruction and wisdom lightly. Church guidelines and rules are not an organizational ploy to control our life. They identify “hindrances” that need to be thrown off. There are also hindrances which are unique in each life individually. These too must be thrown off. Note also that injunction speaks to “hindrances” not sins. This is important for there are things that may not be “sinful” but are nonetheless hindrances. There may be a relationship, a hobby, a type of music, a type of literature, a form of entertainment, an activity, a habit, that in and of itself is not immoral, but is clearly a hindrance to running the race marked out for God's people. We must “throw off” such things!

By the sin that does so easily beset us, understand that sin to which we are most prone, or to which we are most exposed, from habit, age, or circumstances. This is a most important exhortation; for while a man’s darling sin, be it what it will, remains unsubdued, it will hinder him from running the Christian race, as it takes from him every motive for running, and gives power to every discouragement. They would literally, “throw off everything that hindered” to run the race. No sacrifice was too great. No task to demanding.

PERSEVERANCE: THE BREAD FOR THE JOURNEY

Let’s look at this term “perseverance”. In the Scriptures, we are encouraged to run the race with perseverance (Heb 12:1). There are 3 intriguing verses, which seems quite applicable. They are as follows:

Romans 5:2-4 - And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

2 Peter 1:5-7-For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

James 1:2-4 – 2- Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

WHAT IS PERSEVERANCE?

The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon defines it this way … steadfastness, constancy, endurance. In the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings patiently, and steadfastly, a patient, steadfast waiting for, a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance. Perseverance is an intentional stand in faith, even in the most difficult times.

But, how do you get there? There are two pre-steps declared in these verses that get us to perseverance. These two pre-cursory steps are a generous helping of “self-control” (2 Pet. 1:6) or discipline and another helping of “Suffering” (Ro 5:3) or self-sacrifice. Neither option is an easy medicine to swallow. However, the outcome of perseverance is maturing and completeness.

PERSEVERANCE IN PRAYER AND STUDY: MARK 7: 24-30

The syrophoenician woman is an example for us in the gospels.

FIRST HELP IN PERSEVERANCE: THE CLOUD OF WITNESSES (HEB: 11:1-39)

The Great Cloud of Witnesses

We are in the arena and the race is about to begin. We stand at the starting line with the other runners. We glance around at the great cloud of people in the stands. There is something unusual about these people. It is obvious that they are not mere spectators. Everyone of them is a “witness.” They have ran the race, finished the course, fought the good fight... they are the faithful ones. They stand as witnesses that the race can be run and the victory belongs to those who “run the perseverance the race marked out.” They are “living testimonies” (now in the heavenly realms) to the fact that God can “keep us from falling” and enable us to run this race called holiness. If we are to be good marathoners one thing we must do is learn from these witnesses. Having completed the race they have much to teach us. Is this not why we teach our children the stories of David, Joseph, the Apostles, and many other heroes of faith? We believe that in telling them these stories they will learn through their example how to live the holy life. It is no different for us. The witnesses are a source of encouragement. When we see that they have finished the race, we are encouraged to keep running. When we grow weary their lives cry out in unison, “keep running; you can make it, we did!” (1 Corinthians. 11:1) They, by the very lives they lived are cheering us on with their faithful lives.

AND ALL MEN WILL LOOK UP TO ME! THE PIONEER AND THE PERFECTER

Good marathoners fix their eyes on the finish line and don't stop running until they reach it. Therefore, let us learn from the witnesses, throw off everything that hinders, have done with the sin that so easily entangles, fix our eyes on Jesus (the finish line), and run until He stands to catch us and says, “Okay, stop running now; You've finished the race. Enter into my rest.”

There is one witness, though, who forever stands in the forefront. In fact, all the other witnesses point to Him. That is Jesus. He too is a witness. He is our supreme example. To finish Paul’s statement noted above: “Follow my example, as I follow Christ.” Jesus is the one who was “tempted in all ways just like us, yet without sin.” He was fully human and therefore is the chief witness. Peter emphatically noted in his epistle that Christ left us “an example that you should follow in His footsteps.” (1 Pet. 2:21)

PRACTICAL TIPS TO SUSTAIN OUR PERSEVERANCE

·         Study your bible daily

·         Attend mass more regularly

·         Read Christian Catholic books

·         Visit the Blessed Sacrament more regularly

·         Seek to know more about the Church

·         What about your Catechism?

·         Commit yourself to Christ fully- no syncretism!

·         Be alive in the spirit

·         Be charitable and practice hospitality   

CONCLUSION

That is what our Bible lesson is about today. It teaches us that life is like a race that has been set before us. We may struggle and face many obstacles, but we have a great crowd of witnesses who are cheering us on. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us and will help us when the pain is too great. We have a Saviour, who left his place in heaven and came to earth to show us how to run the race. If we will keep our eyes on him, how can we help but finish the race?

How we patiently endure the trials and sufferings of life determine our Christian maturity. Because life hands us tough situations, we will have trials. The enemy of our soul would like to use these circumstances to get us to a point where we cannot recover and complete the maturation process. In every way Satan wants to kill, steal, and destroy you (John 10:10). But, Jesus is our Balm of Gilead (Jer. 8:22).

Prayer: Dear Jesus, sometimes life is difficult. Help us to keep our eyes on you and to run the race that is before us through Christ our Lord. Amen 

THE MISCONCEPTION OF LOVE AMONG YOUTHS

IBIYEMI VICTOR AKINWALE

Our present society is replete with paradoxes, misconceptions and contradictions. In every aspect of life, societal folks try to bring out new meanings from traditional ways of life by forming some form of antithesis to bring out seeming synthesis which would be the principle for future living. In that logical provision for the principles that we will depend on in the nearest future, there are strands of misconceptions, illogical rationality, false premises and indispensible rash, unreasonable, unsound conclusions. In the final analysis therefore, there are plethora of falsity and colossal misapprehension. This gigantic mishap ranges from the theoretical parlances down to practical relationships amongst modern folks. Hence, evil ideas and acts take on a picturesqueness that is very attractive but inherently untrue; only the wise and deep-reflective individuals might perceive the filthiness of modern thought processes and decisions. There is an evolution of concepts that define positive-evils and others try to water-down wholesome concepts with irrelevant meanings and depictions. Our focus today is therefore an exploration of one of such concepts that have worn different interpretations in the current dispensation forgetting its actual meaning, root and usage.

Philosophically, a concept defines a worldview and Ludwig Wittgenstein rightly argued that the limitedness of my concepts portrays the limitedness of my vision- this is somewhat true! It therefore becomes very important that concepts and ideologies be distinctively defined, in order to effect a more corresponding practicality to the prescribed concept. We must note too that the gap between the conceptual world and the practical effect is seemingly brought close noting the fact that a concept has a social value that regulates the definition of interaction in the community.

What is therefore Love? What is the social usage of the word today? And what exactly should be our own understanding and definition of that word? These questions and related quandaries will stir the course of our discussion this day. And an application of what will be heard will be mostly advantageous to the correction of the misconception of love in our society.                      

A WORLD OF LOVE AND THE MEANINGLESSNESS OF ITS MEANING

It is paradoxical and enigmatic to say that we live in love even in the world but we are divorced of its meaning and hence, the word even though it has a meaning has lost that meaning making it meaningless just another sound that comes from the mouth. Because it takes a social meaning that is different from the meaning it should wear- that meaning is meaningless, there must therefore be a correction of what should be understood.

To be straight forward, what we refer to as love is lust! And that distinction must be distinctively made, because there is actually a thin line between if it must be lived appropriately.  

Everybody uses the word LOVE but it is more prevalent among the youths, who want to express in an utmost echelon the idea of a feeling amongst themselves. This has led therefore to some definitions of love by the youths themselves, some have become experts in the processes of LOVE, some have bagged degrees in love even when they have not gone to any University of love. Some have sayings on love that they display on 2go, Facebook, twitter as Pms, Dps and messages. Some even organize coaching or extra lessons on love and friendship! What a pity! Some die of love, some get sick for love, some scrabble for love and others hate love! What is all this about love?  

The first problem in the misconception of the word Love lies in its etymology. The English word LOVE is a lump of four major Greek ideas. In the Greek derivation of the English Love, there are four different words with different meanings which English has lumped together in LOVE. These are the four ideas lumped together in the English word LOVE. The first Greek word is Epithemia which is desire with the connotation of lust-sexual love. Eros is the drive toward union with others which bring self-fulfillment. Philia is affectionate love such as that in the family. Agape is total dedication and devotion to the welfare of others.[1] So what is love?

WHAT IS LOVE?

According to Google in 2012 the most searched phrase was the question: “what is love?” In an attempt to get to the bottom of the question once and for all, the Guardian has gathered writers from the fields of science, psychotherapy, literature, religion and philosophy to give their definition of the much-pondered word.

The physicist: 'Love is chemistry' (Jim Al-Khalili is a theoretical physicist and science writer)

Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. But then, that is not so surprising since love is basically chemistry. While lust is a temporary passionate sexual desire involving the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and oestrogen, in true love, or attachment and bonding, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals: pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool – a mechanism we have evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual defense and parental support of children and to promote feelings of safety and security.

The psychotherapist: 'Love has many guises' (Philippa Perry is a psychotherapist and author of Couch Fiction)

Unlike us, the ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label "love" under the one word. They had several variations, including:

Philia which they saw as a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family members or as a deep bond forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle. Ludus describes a more playful affection found in fooling around or flirting. Pragma is the mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practicing goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding. Agape is a more generalized love; it's not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity. Philautia is self-love, which isn't as selfish as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself. Last, and probably least even though it causes the most trouble, eros is about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, eros will burn itself out. Love is all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only one person. This is why family and community are important.

The philosopher: 'Love is a passionate commitment'(Julian Baggini is a philosopher and writer)

The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbour, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind of a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die.

The romantic novelist: 'Love drives all great stories' (Jojo Moyes is a two-time winner of the Romantic Novel of the Year award)

What love is depends on where you are in relation to it. Secure in it, it can feel as mundane and necessary as air – you exist within it, almost unnoticing. Deprived of it, it can feel like an obsession; all consuming, a physical pain. Love is the driver for all great stories: not just romantic love, but the love of parent for child, for family, for country. It is the point before consummation of it that fascinates: what separates you from love, the obstacles that stand in its way. It is usually at those points that love is everything.

The nun: 'Love is free yet binds us' (Catherine Wybourne is a Benedictine nun)

Love is more easily experienced than defined. As a theological virtue, by which we love God above all things and our neighbours as ourselves for his sake, it seems remote until we encounter it enfleshed, so to say, in the life of another – in acts of kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice. Love is the one thing that can never hurt anyone, although it may cost dearly. The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life's greatest blessing.

WHAT IS LOVE? BY DEBORAH ANAPOL, Ph.D. on November 25, 2011 (Excerpted from The Seven Natural Laws of Love, by Deborah Anapol and appears by permission of the publisher.)

Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we cannot command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love.

Love is bigger than you are. You can invite love, but you cannot dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love, or not, but in the end love strikes like lightening, unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you don't like at all. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addendums, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires.

Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it, for any amount of money. Love cannot be imprisoned nor can it be legislated. Love is not a substance, not a commodity, nor even a marketable power source. Love has no territory, no borders, no quantifiable mass or energy output.

One can buy sex partners and even marriage partners. Marriage is a matter for the law, for rules and courts and property rights. In the past the marriage price, or dowry, and in the present alimony and the pre-nuptial agreement, make it clear that marriage is all about contracts. But as we all know, marriages, whether arranged or not, may have little enough to do with love.

Love cannot be turned on as a reward. It cannot be turned off as a punishment. Only something else pretending to be love can be used as a lure, as a hook, for bait and switch, imitated, insinuated, but the real deal can never be delivered if it doesn't spring freely from the heart.

This doesn't mean that love allows destructive and abusive behaviors to go unchecked. Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is being done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief, or pain to be expressed and released. But love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn't get what it wants.

Love cares what becomes of you because love knows that we are all interconnected. Love is inherently compassionate and empathic. Love knows that the "other" is also oneself. This is the true nature of love and love itself cannot be manipulated or restrained. Love honors the sovereignty of each soul. Love is its own law.

TYPES OF LOVE: THE SIX (FOUR, THREE) LOVES

C.S Lewis treats Love under four categories (the highest does not stand without the lowest), based in part on the four Greek words for love: affection, friendship, eros, and charity. Lewis states that just as Lucifer- a former archangel-perverted himself by pride and fell into depravity, so too can love-commonly held to be the arch-emotion-become corrupt by presuming itself to be what it is not.

There are six types of love (though some have reduced this to three, four even five) they are: Eros, Pragma, Banquet, Mania, Ludus and Storge. Though they sound like exotic birds or rivers in Greece, but they actually refer to various ways people think about the big LOVE.

EROS (ἔρως )is passionate, physical, lustful love- the kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a tingling in certain other places. It is based on strong feelings toward another. It usually occurs in the first stages of a man-woman “romantic” relationship. The weakness with this type of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit", of what can benefit you rather than the other person. This is "I love you because it feels good, and makes ME happy loving you." See? The keyword is the word "ME". When that person doesn't "feel happy" anymore in loving that person, she/he is led to believe that she/he has "fallen out of love". Actually, there was never "true love" in the first place. The fact is, love by feelings alone cannot be called "true love" simply because they do not know each other that much yet.

PRAGMA is a practical love. People who conceive of love this way are pragmatic (you didn't see that one coming, didja?) when looking for a partner. They choose their mate based on rational decisions about whom they fit best with.

BANQUET is love that expresses itself through altruism, or making sacrifices for another person. This is the highest type of love; it is called Agape or unconditional love. Agape love is above philos love and eros love if the category of love is reduced to three. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives out love to another person even if this act does not benefit her/him in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit). Charity (agapē, ἀγάπη) is the love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue.

MANIA is an obsessive love that, while intimate and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. Maniacal love can lead to domestic violence.

LUDUS is love that's a game. A Ludic lover wants to have fun, but doesn't necessarily want a serious relationship.

STORGE - στοργή is friendship-based love. A Storge lover wants a companion who shares her likes and dislikes and who can form a long relationship based on closeness, trust, security and affection. Affection (storge, στοργή) is fondness through familiarity (a brotherly love), especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. It also called Philos (φιλία) love - a love based on friendship between two people. It is true that two lovers that start out by being friends first before becoming partners usually are the relationships that last more, long-term. Friendship is the foundation of a successful relationship. This is true whether it is marriage, or boyfriend-girlfriend, relationship betweeen family members, relationship with co-workers, employer, etc.

SUMMARY INTO THREE: Therefore, Philos is a higher type of love than Eros. Philos love is a mutual, "give-and take" relationship, while Eros love is a self-based, form of love that is more concerned with the "self" or self-benefit. However, the highest type is agape love which is not human at all, but divine - God's unconditional love for us, His children and which we must emulate.

LUST AS THE MODERN MISCONCEPTION OF LOVE

Love is an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. It is a profound and caring attraction. On the other hand, lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature.

Lust is a strong sexual desire. Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body. Lust can take any form such as the lust for knowledge, the lust for sex or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food. Lust is a powerful psychological force producing intense wanting for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion. (Wikipedia).

Lust is considered by Catholicism to be a disordered desire for sexual pleasure, where sexual pleasure is "sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes". In Catholicism, sexual desire in itself is good, and is considered part of God's plan for humanity. However, when sexual desire is separated from God's love, it becomes disordered and self-seeking. This is seen as lust. In Roman Catholicism, lust became one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Being in love doesn't exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other.  

SYMPTOMS: LOVE: Faithfulness, loyalty, confidence. Willingness to make sacrifices for another. Working at settling differences. Able to compromise so that either both win or at least give the other person's opinion a chance. LUST: Desire, passion, acquisitiveness, intense emotions

SIGNS OF LUST

You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.

You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.

You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.

You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.

You are lovers, but not friends.

SIGNS OF LOVE

You want to spend quality time together other than sex.

You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.

You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.

He or she motivates you to be a better person.

You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

LUST AS THE SEED OF THE ABERRATIONS OF SEX

Lust is about possession and greed. The Christian faith is about selflessness and is marked by holy living (Romans 6:19, 12:1-2; 1 Corinthians 1:2, 30, 6:19-20; Ephesians 1:4, 4:24; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, 5:23; 2 Timothy 1:9; Hebrews 12:14; 1 Peter 1:15-16). It is totally against the Christian ideal. Lust makes us craze for useless things and it is the bed rock of Homosexuality, Lesbianism, bestiality, Pedophilia, Transexualism and others. Lust is therefore a blind towards the actualization of real love; in fact, it is an irrational expression of love which needs to be streamlined in the pursuit of true love.

AUTHENTIC LOVE: THE MARRIAGE OF THE DIFFERENT TIERS OF LOVE

Listen to the complaints of one young lady:

“I was flattered when he wanted to be with me all the time. I felt so special when he told me he couldn’t live without me. Now, I see how possessive he is. He wants to be with me all the time, not because he loves me so much but because he wants to control me.”

“When he called me many times a day, I felt like he was the most loving person, caring not only about me but also about who I was with and what I was doing. Now, I see how jealous he is. He didn’t trust me unless he knew where I was every moment of every day. It feels so yucky to me now.”

”He’d frequently give me advice about “life.” It could be politics, business, finances, how to talk with others, who to hang out with. It felt good to listen to him. He seemed so knowledgeable, so worldly. I liked that he was teaching me so much. Now, I see that he needs to give me “advice” about everything because he wants me to do things his way.”

So, now that she recognizes what his “loving” behavior was all about, does she break off the relationship? No way. Why? Because even though he becomes enraged when he doesn’t know where she is, sulky when she doesn’t listen to his “advice,” irked when she’s chatting with others on the phone, she still loves him.

Really? What kind of love is this where she is miserable most of the time – crying about how he treats her, afraid of being criticized for what she did (or didn’t do), worried about what mood he’ll be in when she next sees him. Does this sound like a loving relationship?

Love is a word that is bandied around a lot and has many different meanings. Here are three of them:

Romantic love is marinated in fantasy. Excitement rules the day. You are walking on air. He can do no wrong. You are the luckiest woman on earth. Nothing will ever come between the two of you.

But, alas, infatuation does not stand the test of time. As it wanes, either a couple breaks up (“that was a great love affair”) or it develops into seasoned love.

Seasoned love is marinated in caring, respect, trust and empathy. Differences are respected. Conflicts are worked out. Individuality is respected. Love grows deeper. Love grows stronger.

And then there is addictive love.

Addictive love is marinated in desperation. You feel you cannot live without this person. You need him to feel complete. Though you no longer feel good about yourself like you did when you were “infatuated with him,” you, nevertheless, feel you can’t leave him.

“But I love him” has become your mantra. Despite rarely enjoying being with him, you love him. Despite being constantly criticized, you love him. Despite crying about insults you’ve received, you love him. Despite being afraid of his anger, you love him.

Clearly, addicted love does not listen to logic. It does not respect reason. It does not give credence to other people’s counsel. Despite your self-worth hitting a new low, you don’t leave the relationship. Just like a drug addict, you cannot give up your drug of choice.

So what mixture would be apt for love-building among youths?

LOVE, FAMILY LIFE AND BUILDING FRIENDSHIP  

The experience of authentic love will entail a proportionate blending of the four elements (dimensions of love). The Epithemia which is desire with the connation of lust-sexual love. The Eros is the drive toward union with others which bring self-fulfillment. The philia is affectionate love such as that in the family. And agape which is total dedication and devotion to the welfare of others.[2] Without a proper blend of the four major dimensions of love, there will be crises in family life and in the building of relationships.

JESUS AS THE MODEL OF LOVE: THE CHRISTIAN TAKE ON LOVE

What are we? Christians right? Because we are Christians, we have a model of love just as other religions have their models of love too- the Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists, Confucits and others. Our model of Love is Jesus who is the author and the perfecter of our faith (Hebrews, 4: ). All of Jesus’ moral teaching is concentrated in the one commandment of love which in itself is a dualism; the love of God and the love of neighbour. (Mark 12:28-34, Matthew 22:34-40, Luke 10:25-28)The two are inseparable, for the love of God is expressed in the love of neighbour and vice-versa (1 Jn 4:20).   

More importantly, the Gospel of St. John and his letters too depict perfectly what the Christ-love is all about. It is an unselfish love for “the other”. It is a love that is represented in the acronym OBI (others before I) and not IBO (I before others). It is a “dying love” whereby the lover will do everything to keep the other alive even if it means dying to keep the other alive. Christian love is rooted in the whole life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Christian love is the same self-giving, even to the point of crucifixion. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). 

St Paul takes it deeper by giving us the characteristics of love in his hymn of love in 1 Cor. 13:4-8:  Love is patient, kind, without envy. It is not boastful or arrogant. It is not ill-mannered, nor does it seek its own interest. Love is not provoked to anger; keeps no score of offences. It does not take delight in wrong, but rejoices in truth. Love excuses al things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never ends.  

WHAT LOVE CAN DO

1.       LOVE CAN IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH

Love can be good for your health. If you are married in the long term you will suffer from less depression and live significantly longer than those who are single, divorced or widowed. But to get the full health benefits, you have to pick the correct partner, argues Dr Raj Persaud in Simply Irresistible, the Psychology of Seduction.

2.      BAD LOVE

Choose the wrong partner and you could be in trouble. Research suggests that an unhappy marriage raises your chances of developing clinical depression by around 30 per cent. Women who divorce are 60 per cent more likely to get heart disease in later life than those who stay married, according to research from Texas University.

3.      LOVE IS BLIND

Scientists have discovered that certain parts of the brain become deactivated when we're in love, including areas linked with negative emotions, planning, critical social assessment, the evaluation of trustworthiness and fear.

4.      WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKEN-HEARTED?

Death rates rise significantly after the death of a spouse. In one of the largest scientific studies of its kind, the Population Research Unit at the University of Helsinki found that mortality rates were more than three times higher for men compared to women.

For both genders they are at their highest during the first week after the death of the spouse, and then they drop slowly but steadily during the following six months. The unit also found that the number of people dying as a result of blocked arteries around the heart rose dramatically after the death of a spouse.

5.      LOVE HURTS, LITERALLY

Dr Helen Fisher and her team gave MRI scans to 17 people who were happy in love and 15 who had been rejected in love. The latter had been brokenhearted for an average of 63 days. In this group, they found activity in a region of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which has a high number of dopamine receptors. "It suggests that when you have been dumped you love that person more," says Dr Fisher. Activity was also found in parts of the brain associated with risk-taking, physical pain, obsessive-compulsive behaviour, controlling anger and theory of mind - imagining what the other person is thinking.

6.      DEATH BY MARRIAGE

If the stress of arranging a wedding doesn't kill you, there is a higher-than-average chance of keeling over immediately after you've got hitched. For both men and women mortality rates rise in the period just after the wedding day, according to a recent survey of over 12,000 German adults.

The stress of a new situation may be a factor, as well as a profound change in living circumstances. "Marriage is often associated with a geographic move for at least one partner," says Dr Persaud. "The spouse who moved may have had to cut emotional networks and change social interaction patterns and daily routines. However, after two years, the research suggests, married partners adapt to their new life and the mortality rate starts to improve compared to unmarried people."

'Till death do us part” promise.

CONCLUSION: A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE

Could there be a world without love? Obviously no! it therefore suggests that love is a conditio-sine-qua-non for relationship in the society. In fact, it is a natural feeling that we even have for others in communities and indeed the entire world. However, we must no misconceive love as something that is selfish and pragmatic, as something that is only sexual and exploitative, as something that is mundane and only physical. Love transcends such proclivities. To love is to give everything.  Erich Fromm summarizes it when he made a distinction between immature and mature love. “Immature love says, “I love you because I need you” And Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.” Thus, love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything. Let me conclude with the words of  C. S. Lewis in his book The Four Loves: “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

LET US THEN LOVE AND NOT LUST

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[1] Mcbrien p 937-938

[2] Mcbrien p 937-938