RE-VISITING THE NECESSITY OF THE FAMILY IN SOCIETY

IBIYEMI ‘WALE VICTOR

The plethora of the evils, mayhem and pandemonium in our world calls for a deeper reflection on the philosophies cum ideologies that govern and direct our societies. It seems that man is in search of his own death in shades of radical modernism and intellectual insanities. The future of humanity is the most important thing that must always be placed in view in the drive for scientific, cultural and ideological successes. The primary evil which is the thrust of this paper is the modernistic corrosion of the family. Because once the idea of family is permanently tinted with these false notions, then, the society is altogether doomed. For the Family is the pillar of society, the quality of the family determines the quality of the society.

This modernistic interpretation of values has even rocked the bedrock of the society- the family and that has multiplied the evils and scandals in the society. Hence, the debacle of family life has occasioned a more unstable and volatile society. There are crises everywhere. These crises are launched with the celebrations of unions and marriages that do not have life in focus. Unions that are aberrations to the traditional understanding of marriage, unions that are anti-life. For example, homosexuality, transsexuals, bestiality, lesbianism, lone-parent families, divorce, rape, parenting, cohabiting e.t.c.

These improper relationships do not promote anything good. They are the very foundations of discord and disharmony in societal values. They do not support the dignity of human life, they promote the culture of death through the acolytes of abortion, euthanasia and suicide. These unholy unions are deprived of any altruism, the morale in them is selfishness, selfish-gratifying desires, selfism and hedonistic. Their results are disastrous. Scandals, unintended pregnancies, abortion, contraception, imbalanced child care, ignorance of children development and parenting. There is every need therefore to reinstate the values of the human family as a place where life is welcomed, protected and nurtured.    

Furthermore, searching deeper into family life, there are some other problems rocking family life today which translate into the bleakness that society faces in modern times. They are; Anti-Christian culture, Divorce, Busyness, Absent father figure, Lack of discipline, Financial pressures, Lack of communication, Negative media influences, Balance of work and family and Materialism.

These ten fundamental problems rocking family life affect every member of the family and therefore affect the society of which the family is a microcosm. Marriages have been unnecessarily dissolved because of these problems. Homes are broken and chattered because of the lack of communication, busyness and the inability to balance work and family. So many others wound other families. These are the reasons why the society will never be stable unless family life is repositioned to its dignity and roles in the society.

We need to constantly remind ourselves of the necessity of the family in the society. The first importance of the family is that, it is the foyer into the world. The family shapes and moulds the individual.

The family as the first natural society

…Indeed, a person normally comes into the world within a family, and can be said to owe to the family the very fact of his existence as an individual. When he has no family, the person coming into the world develops an anguished sense of pain and loss, one which will subsequently burden his whole life.[i]

Pope John Paul II notes that the discourse on family is an indispensable topic in the society. This is because the family has always been considered as the first and basic expression of man’s social nature.[ii] It is in the family that the individual gets the first identity as a human being, hence, the family is presented in the creator’s plan as the “the primary place of humanization for the person and society and the cradle of life and love.[iii]

The family is the sanctuary of life

The family in its proper sense is the sanctuary of life because by its openness to conjugal love, it becomes open to the acceptance of life and by that acceptance to life the family becomes a place in which life- the gift of God- can be properly welcomed and protected against the many attacks with which it is exposed to and can develop in accordance with what constitutes human growth.[iv] It is the role of the family therefore to promote the culture of life.

The family is a communion of persons

The family is a community of persons whose proper way of existing and living together is communion: communio personarum.[v] From this understanding of family, Blessed John Paul II says it is possible to discern how the primordial model of the family is to be sought in God himself, in the Trinitarian mystery of his life. The divine “We” is the eternal pattern of the human “we”, especially of that “we” formed by the man and the woman created in the divine image and likeness. Hence one can discover, at the very origins of human society, the qualities of communion and of complementarity.[vi]

The family as a domestic church

The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called “the domestic Church,” a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.[vii]

As the domestic Church, the family is summoned to proclaim, celebrate and serve the Gospel of life. This is a responsibility which first concerns married couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals that human life is a gift received in order to be given as a gift. In giving origin to a new life, parents recognize that the child, “as the fruit of their mutual gift of love, is, in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift which flows from them.[viii] It is here (in the Family) that the father, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way ‘by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity.’[ix] Thus, the home is the first school of Christian life and ‘a school for human enrichment.’[x] Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one’s life.[xi]

The family as active participant in social life

The family participates in social life through solidarity,[xii] economic life and work.  In the societal formation of individuals, the family plays the fundamental and building roles. For instance, in the primal aspect of inculcating virtues and character formation, it is the sole responsibility of the family to satisfy the morality of the child before the child eventually gets out to inculcate abhorrent virtues. Many parents have lost their children because they lack skills for proper parenting and this daily hurts and hunts our nation- Nigeria. Some other parents think that by dumping their children in boarding schools, they are doing themselves good and by that, avoiding the stress of their obligations. The result always prove the contrary- how those children turn out to be what they never expected.

In conclusion, the family is an indispensable part of the society. Not just an association of persons but good families are needed in order to re-establish our world and society. We must all together work to protect our families from shattering. We must always pray for the abundance of good families in the society. Families must also contribute their own impact in changing the world through proper formation of the young ones. Our future is actually in our hands.   

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[i] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1994), 2

[ii] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families, 7

[iii] John Paul II, Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation- Christi Fideles Laici (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1988), 40

[iv] John Paul II, Encyclical Letter- Centesimus Annus (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1991), 39

[v] We are called, by creation and from the beginning to enter into a communion of persons so that we may increase and multiply and to enter into a communion so that the earth might be subdued. Of course, the first communion is the family, the second is that found in the workplace. In both communion, the activity of man and woman reflects the acts of God, not only in the self-gift which established the communions, but also in the effects of the self-gifts. See, Richard M. Hogan and John M. Levoir “Pope John Paul II on Love, Sexuality, Marriage and Family” in Marriage: Readings in Moral Theology edited by Charles E. Curran and Julie Hanlon Rubio- no 15- (New York: Paulist Press, 2009), 81

[vi] Pope John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane, Letter to Families, 6

[vii] Catechism of the Catholic Church (Nairobi: Paulines Publications Africa, 1994), 1666

[viii] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae- on the Value and Inviolability of Human Life, (25 March, 1995)92

[ix] “Lumen Gentium”, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church in the Documents of Vatican II- the Conciliar and Post-Conciliar Documents, Vol.1 edited by Austin Flannery (Bangalore: Theological Publication in India, 2010),10

[x] Gaudium et Spes”- Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, 52

[xi] Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1657

[xii] Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, Compendium Of The Social Doctrine Of The Church (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 2005), republished by St. Paul Book Centre, 141

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN (MATTHEW 5:16): THE NYSC IN FOCUS

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN (MATTHEW 5:16): THE NYSC IN FOCUS

Can you imagine our country without NEPA failure… can you imagine 24 hours light supply… can you imagine a situation when everywhere can be always lighted up again. Up Nepa!

This little light of mine... am gonna let it shine!

A community without its youths is a dead society. It is dead because it has no future, it has no light hence, it is blind and moribund. Soon all the old ones or elderly will die, who then are those to succeed such society? Indeed, there is no society that does not have its youths, no matter how small they are, there must be those that will continue the existence of that society, if there are none, the society will definitely go into extinction. Even in those communities where the minority is a collection of youths, the development and progress of that community is at stake. All these point out forcefully the significant place of the youths in the society. The more reason why societies should begin to invest seriously on the youths since they are the ones that will bear the torch of excellence for the continuity of the society.

The Nigerian experience has been a failure. In the political arena for instance, the youths have little or no space at all. Why? The old men who think they have the monopoly of politics have remained on seat so long as they cannot remember. Hence, it is often said that nobody enters the Aso Rock and wants to come back alive, they all want to die in power. You can imagine what an 88 year old man wants to do in office when there are energized men who can do better. The European governments will continue to be paradigms for us in this regard. How old is Obama if we may ask? It is clear that youths are not given a fair place to exercise their potentials in the Nigerian society except for their employment as prostitutes, thugs, bodyguards and agbero as they are often called.

It is good therefore to impress it on our minds and the minds of our leaders that the youths should and must be trained to rule and guide this nation which eventually will be their task in the nearest future. Once again, the place and roles of youths in our society cannot be negotiated, it cannot be undermined. The future of this country lies in their hands and the better our Youths are the better for the future of this country.

YOUTHS AS LIGHT FOR THE FUTURE

You are the light in the world (Matthew 5:13-14)- this is one of those statements which should cause us to lift up our heads and make us realize once more what a remarkable and glorious thing it is to be a Christian. Imbued in our Christian vocation is the injunction to be light in the world. It may well be said that this is the greatest compliment that was ever paid to the individual Christian, for in it Jesus commands the Christian to be what he himself claimed to be. Jesus said: “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world” (John 9:5). This Christian injunction to be lights in the world demands nothing less than being like Christ in every respect. For once we are in darkness but we have seen a great light (Ephesians 5:8). We have not only received light but we have been made lights ourselves so that we might also become transmitters. We must understand the meaning of being lights in the world. When Jesus used this concept for his disciples, he meant that 1) A light is first and foremost something which must be seen. Hence, Christianity is something which is meant to be seen. There can be no such thing as secret discipleship. That Christianity also must be visible not only in the Church or within the Church premises but it must be seen in every ordinary activity of the Christian. 2) A light is a guide. Christians must therefore make the way clear to others. That is, Christians must necessarily be examples. 3) A light can often be a warning light which tells others to halt or to wait, there is danger ahead. It is sometimes the duty of Christian to bring others to necessary warning. It is important to finally note that as authentic Christians, it is not our light we must radiate, it is the light of Christ that we must reflect. Every individual is capable of a certain relative understanding of light, if that is the light we must shine, then we would soon see the impoverish status of our different lights but when we wear Christ cloak and therefore radiate his light then we become authentic Christians and ministers of Christ in our society and environment.   

With these understandings of light, we will begin to understand why the Youths are not just the reality for the future but that they are and must be the lights for the future as well.  

BUT WHERE DO WE GET THIS LIGHT FROM?

When we are baptised, we were given the light of Christ, symbolised by the baptismal candle- God came to life and shone his light in our souls. The purpose of our baptism is to make us lights to the world for Jesus. Jesus equally told us that he who believes in him and does not remain in darkness will have the light of life (John 3:). We therefore are behoved to show to the whole world what we must be.    

OUR DARKENED WORLD

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. (John 3:19-20)

Would there be any need of light, if there was no darkness? Hence, the term or word light presupposes the dark. Truly, our society is darkened. In all the tiers of societal life, there is need for the radiance of light. There are many indications of the darkness that is looming our nation. To mention all in this write-up is an illusion but for the purpose of the focus of this edition of the magazine, it would be apt to mention a few. 

Corruption, a household named in Nigeria is the fountain of all our troubles. It is grossly unfortunate that Nigeria continue to grow daily in this crime and no hope of redemption- for much has been preached on this topic to effect a rapid metanoia. When we talk of corruption, we often think it is only those in government that are affected. In truth, most Nigerians are corrupt in one way or the other. This is a significant darkness that we must shed light on.

Terrorism is another epidemic that the whole nation is suffering currently. We are sickened with the news of bomb blasts and killings every day on the media. Even in some quarters, Borno especially, it has become a normal thing as to a routine in their environment to hear these things. The prevalence of these heinous acts suggests only one fundamental reality, that “life” has become a cheap commodity in our society and that it can be traded for any other thing. This is perplexing and disturbing that in an African culture, human life has become something grossly redundant. It’s a shame! 

There are many other darkness in our society. In fact, everything contradicting the gospel of Christ is not light therefore it is darkness (1Corinthians). The darkness of prostitution, malpractice, kidnapping, quarrels, malice, theft, abortion, lying, sexual misconducts, rituals, killing etc.

The more disturbing phenomenon about these evils is that most of them are executed through the instrumentality of youths. Whether they do them of their own conviction or whether they were forced is inconsequential. When these youths grow to become adults, what would they become? If they can execute these terrible deeds when they are youths, they will plan more when they are adults. What hope do we have in the future for a peaceful society?  

However, that there are problems and difficulties in our society does not suggest that it is a bad community all together. We are the beams of light that must enlighten this world and make our society a better place for us all.  

YOUR LIGHT MUST SHINE!

When Matthew gives that injunction that your light must shine, it implies that you must be a group of believers and disciples who will be highly visible because of the unusually dedicated character of your lives, who will illuminate the world as light does, and who will sanctify, purify and preserve the world in its relationship to God like salt. As light, you must shed the radiance of the Good News of God’s saving presence, into the darkness of an alienated humanity. What this injunction tells us is that as Corps members and more as Christians, our mission is that of witnessing. Pope Paul VI in Evangelium Nutiandi has said that the world needs more of witnesses than preachers. The injunction also harbours a warning that a community which does not live out this Christian mandate to become shining examples of the faith, which has so adjusted itself to the values of the world that its lifestyle no longer challenges it, is fit only to be thrown out.

Furthermore, the injunction- Let your light shine before men! Connotes further two important things: 1) people are to see our good deeds. These goods deeds that you must exemplify must not only be good but must also be attractive. Hence, we must be Christian youths whose goodness makes everything loving. 2) It is further to be noted that our good deeds ought to draw attention not to ourselves but to God. You must never think of what you have done but think only of what God has enabled you to do.

Our light must essentially shine not only in words but deeds. We are called to reflect the light of Jesus into the dark room of our brothers and sisters- the people we see every day, who otherwise may not receive this light. A little girl once stood in Church staring in amazement at the sun streaming through stained glass windows. With wonder in her little voice she said, “Now I know what Christians are! They are people through whom the light of Christ shines.”    

In Ancient Greece, the runner who won the race was not the one who crossed the line in the shortest time, but the man who crossed the finish line in the shortest line with his torch still burning. Our goal as Christians is that we may cross the line into eternity with the light of Christ that we received at our baptism still shining brightly. 

AFTER SERVICE WHAT NEXT?

Many have opined that The NYSC service year is an all-important decision-making year for the Nigerian Youth. Generally, it is the time of great decision when most important choices of life are made. The choice of a vocation, the choice of a life partner, the choice of religion, the choice of life and other choices. So, after service what kind of Citizen/Nigerian do you want to be? I think we should begin to ask ourselves these serious questions. Not just what kind of person do you want to be, but also, what will your contributions be to making this nation you have claimed to serve this year, a worthwhile place for us all to live? What kind of family do you want to raise? What influence do you want to impact on others? We must never be bound to the ruse theory that if you cannot beat them, join them. We need to stand out as true Christian youths living a life worthy of emulation and a life worthy of praise. In fact, we must live as lights in our society shining as torches in the tunnels and dark crannies of our society. In short, your flame must be exemplary! You must remain dedicated as ever to Christ and to his Church. 

SPECIFIC AREAS THAT WE MUST SHINE OUR LIGHT

Shining our lights means that our Christianity must be evident in everything that we do. We must live Christ-like lives. The Christ-like life is the platform on which individual testimony becomes convincing. We cannot even claim to have relationship with Christ without shining his light. Our responsibility therefore as disciples and Christians is to live so transformed by the Word and the inward presence of Christ that everyone can see his light reflected in our acts of kindness.

CLOTHING

LANGUAGE

PRAYERS

OUR WORSHIP      

CONCLUDING REMARKS

At a time like this when we gather together from East and West, from North and south, when we gather together in the name of Jesus Christ, O Lord arise and Shine!

It has come to a point in this country when we need a turn-around, we need a change and that change must begin with you. Why? Because you are the leaders of tomorrow and nobody can rob that from you. In order not to find ourselves in much disasters as we are experiencing in our country these days, our youths-you- need to get it right from the start that we cannot continue to live like this in Nigeria, else we recede into a collapse. We must all together, Arise and Shine. Wherever you find yourselves tomorrow, know for sure that you are an ambassador of the Catholic Faith and therefore you have no other choice but to shine forth for all men to see your light. Anything less that shinning forth is not accepted and hence not qualified to be called Christians.      

A little boy was standing in an alley with a broken piece of glass, reflecting the light of the sun to a third story window. A police officer came by and scolded him asking, “what mischief are you up to now? The boy said to the officer, “Nothing sir, my little brother is sick and can’t leave our apartment up there on the third floor where no sunlight ever gets into his room. The only sunlight he ever sees is what I reflect from this little bit of glass.