Ibiyemi Victor Wale
INTRODUCTION
Do you know the
richest place on earth? This place is not the o il rich fields of the Niger
Delta or one of the eight most industrialized nations in the world. This place
of endless riches is not in the Middle East; where there’s rich black gold
buried deep beneath the Earth’s surface- or is this place in South Africa where
there is a plethora of gold mines? The wealthiest place in the world is a
cemetery. Now one would ask, “For what justifiable reason is the wealthiest
place in the world a cemetery?” Simply put, in a cemetery, you will find that
there are books that were never written. There are songs that were never sung.
There are ideas that were never acted upon-dreams that were long forgotten. If
one were to die today, then what ideas and what aspirations would die with him
or her? And the immediate contingencies that relied on the survival of such a
daydream would eventually perish with the transient dream. Will your dreams and
aspirations be buried with you? Will you contribute assets to the cemetery or
will you leave them fulfilled here on earth? You should recall quickly examples
of youths that through their little usefulness
have made extra-ordinary innovations. Mark Zukengberg- The face book guy. Ben Carson---
the neurosurgeon.
With the above
précis, this lecture becomes very important in considering the youthful energy vis-à-vis usefulness as
the presupposed product of that enthusiastic energy. But what is the situation
of our youths these days?
YOUTHS IN THIS CHANGING WORLD: A PARADIGM SHIFT TO WHAT?
In our country Nigeria, we see two level visions of people: we
see those visionary, creative, innovative, inventive and energetic young men
and women who have risen to greatness and fame by claiming the margins of their
lives in their professions; people who have made progressive leaps in the
development and realization of the worthwhile purpose of their lives; people
who have a burning desire, an unflinching commitment and a passionate
determination to attain their goals and to realize their visions. We see young
people of illuminating intelligence and great aspirations whose ideas and money
rule the world; people who are consumed by the desire to make a difference;
young people who have followed the compass guiding their lives of purpose.
On the other hand, we see a bandwagon of young people who have
lost focus, who have no vision for their lives, people who are tossed by the
winds of change and the tide of time; young men and women whose lives have
become stale and have lost the steam of purpose. We see young boys and girls
whose lives have become citadels of immorality, permissiveness and corrupt
behaviour. We see a host of young people given to the free reins of drug,
crime, prostitution, abnormal sexual behaviour (homosexuality and
gay-marriage). We see young men who have no fire burning in their bellies,
people with not hope, and no vision for the future, no initiative, no
creativity, people who live life as it comes!
While on the first level, we have people who are striving to
live a fruitful and successful life, on the second level vision, we have people
who have failed to live life fully and fruitfully. And between these two groups
of people, there is a great gap, the gap between the achievers, the leaders
and the spectators and wanderers. We may ascribe many efficient
causes to the reasons why some people are successful and others are not. For
some poverty is the cause, for others, poor background, lack of the basic
necessities of life, lack of the resources for good education and a host of
other social and cultural conditions. These are the reasons they advance for
their failures in life. For those who succeed in life, what are their reasons?
Many of us will probably say they came from wealthy homes with good background,
they were well exposed; they had the best education and so on. In general
fashion, people tend to identify successful people with their wealthy family
background while they identify people who are not successful in life with a
cycle of poverty down their family line. This is a traditional fallacy we have
to break out from.
The real gap between the successful people and the not
successful people is not wealth or poverty but simply ATTITUDE. We are familiar with the maxim that “Your attitude
determines your altitude.” It is the way you see and visualize life that
determines how far you can climb on the ladder of success and how long you can
sustain yourself on that ladder. No one climbs the ladder of a successful life
hands-free. You have to commit yourself, and that commitment is attitude.
William James, the famous American pragmatist and psychologist once remarked
that “The greatest discovery of my generation is that people can alter their
lives by altering their attitude of mind.” Attitude is everything. Between
stimulus and response, man has the ability to choose. Within the freedom to
choose are those endowments that make us uniquely human. In addition to self-awareness,
we have imagination- the ability to
create in our minds beyond our present reality. We have conscience- a deep inner awareness of right and wrong, of the
principles that govern our behaviour, and a sense of the degree to which our
thoughts and actions are in harmony with them. And we have an independent will- to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other
influences.
YOUTHS AND THE
TEMPTATION OF FREEDOM: YOUR LIFE IS YOUR DECISION
Definitely, as young people we desire freedom, to live
stress-free lives; to enjoy everything, and to have it all. We have forgotten
that we cannot eat our cake and have it back. We are therefore created to be
youthful and useful in the hands of God. It is not that we will be prayer
warriors or spiritual singers or prophets and prophetesses. But we must live a
life that changes others. We must be men and women of value. It is even said
that we are not living until we are of value to our society, our community, and
our world. Many youths are filled with talents but they have decided to use
those talents for the devil. Many talents like singing, persuasion, talking,
but all these have been used for the devil. The decision is yours to make your
life the way it will be. The way you lay
your bed shall you lie on it. The values you appreciate and uphold now will
definitely shape the future of our country that is why the youths are regarded
as leaders of tomorrow; the more reason why the Church has painstakingly taken
interest in the youths of the society. It is simple, if the youths are
neglected, the future of the church is neglected, if the society fails to train
her youth, it is joyfully preparing for a doom that will be both catastrophic
and diabolic.
THE
THREE LEVELS OF USEFULNESS
Useful as an
adjective can be construed as having a practical or beneficial use. Synonyms
could be noteful, serviceable, and utilitarian. Usefulness has three tiers
Usefulness
to oneself: The bedrock of
frustration is when one is useless to himself or herself. There is no
communication of usefulness to the environment when one cannot in himself
ascertain that he or she is happy and fulfilled. As a matter of fact,
everything we do in life tends towards making ourselves happy and useful to
ourselves first before any other entity. One is useful to himself when he sees that his
achievements have met his desire or in line with his desire- when his decisions
lead to his development, growth and advancement. On the other hand, you are
useless to yourself when you seek to destroy yourself by your actions and
decisions.
Usefulness
to the society: The second rung of usefulness is to the
society. An individual is never an isolated being. His life is intertwined with
the society. He cannot in anyway divulge himself from the community. In order
not to be repugnant in the society, he must be useful. And there comes the
obligation to be useful in the community.
When an individual has a pragmatic beneficial importance in the
community then his usefulness can be ascertained.
Usefulness
to God: “Remember your God in the days of your youth”. The
creator did not put us in the world for nothing. He said we must bear fruit. The
third tier and the most important is usefulness to God. Usefulness to God comes
in dual dimensions as the summary of the commandments, that is, the love of God
and love of neigbours. If we must be useful to God, we must be devoted to him,
faithfully serve him, and keep his commandments. We must translate that same
love of God to the betterment of the society.
SUCCESS:
YOUTHFUL ENERGY COMBINED WITH A SENSE OF USEFULNESS
·
Success starts
in and from the mind. The key to a successful life is to realize that living is
a learned habit, an acquired skill. Learning begins at conception and ends in
death. Earl Nightingale says that “You become what you think most of the time.”
Have a vision, an imagination of your life’s purpose and begin to work towards
it. In order words, you must have a goal, a focus, an aspiration- the purpose
driven life, not the life tossed around by every wind of change.
·
Success is a
product of your constant, continuous and consistent effort. Never take a break
from your success journey; do not stop for rest or reward too soon. When you
stop at the first signs of success, you become lazy, stagnant and begin to
decline. As your efforts produce results and rewards, work even harder. Success
and achievement only come through continuous work. The only place where success
comes before work is in the dictionary.
·
Be willing to
change your life completely. You must make your life congruent, consistent and
in harmony with your desired success. Is there anything you feel or think about
yourself that will frustrate your success efforts? Low self-esteem, fear of the
unknown, etc.
Nine Rules of
Success
1.
DO NOT
PROCRASTINATE
2.
DO IT NOW
3.
STAND ON YOUR
TWO FEET
4.
DO NOT FEAR
FAILURE
5.
DO NOT SELL
YOURSELF CHEAPLY
6.
DEVELOP A GOAL
ORIENTED HABIT
7.
VISUALIZE YOUR
GOAL AND BELIEVE YOU CAN ATTAIN IT
8.
PLAN YOUR WORK
AND WORK YOUR PLAN
9.
DO NOT QUIT: Winners never quit and quitters never win
SOME
SELF-RENEWAL PRINCIPLES IF YOU WANT TO BE USEFUL
Four Dimensions
of Renewal
PHYSICAL RENEWAL- The
physical dimension involves caring effectively for our physical body- eating
the right kind of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising
on a regular basis. Exercise, nutrition, stress management are the key points.
A healthy eating habit/dieting regular exercise. “There is no real excellence
in all this world which can be separated from right [and healthy] living”
remarks David Jordan.
MENTAL RENEWAL- Most of our
mental development and study discipline comes through formal education. But as
soon as we leave school, many of these disciplines fall away. We let our minds
grow cobweb. We no longer do any serious reading; we don’t explore any new
subject in real depth outside our action fields; we don’t think analytically;
we don’t write. Instead we spend our time watching TV. A recent Television Survey shows that people spend as much as 45-50
hours a week watching Television, far more than they spend at work or in
activity. TV has many high quality entertainment and educational programs.
They can enrich our lives and contribute meaningfully to our purposed and
goals, but there are many programs that simply waste our time and minds and
many that influence us in negative ways if we let them. Like the body, TV is a
good servant but a poor master. We need to know how to effectively manage and
maximize our time. Your time, the hours you spend on earth are your most
valuable asset. It is unrepeatable and irreplaceable. How you spend your time
will determined the level of success you will experience. You waste your time
when you spend it in unproductive activity or with unproductive people; and
this will manifest in your experience. Organize and execute your life around
priorities. Effective time management is putting first things first. Goethe
will say that “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things
which matter least.” A better and more refined way to look at how to allocate
time is to speak in terms of investing
your time rather than spending (or
wasting) it. To spend gives a sense of finality, something that will never
return. When time is spent, it is gone forever, but when you invest your time,
there is a return on the investment.
The Four Badges
of the Universal Law of Value
1.
Do not waste
your time on thoughts, people or actions which are not worthy.
2.
Do not waste
your thought on ideas that are not worthy.
3.
Do not waste
your energies on activities which are not worthy.
4.
Do not waste
your money on that which is not worthy.
Continuing education, honing and expanding of the mind is vital
mental renewal. It is extremely valuable to train and educate the mind.
Training without such education narrows the mind and eventually closes it. That
is why it is valuable to read broadly and to expose yourself to great minds.
There’s no better way to inform and expand your mind on a regular basis than to
get into the habit of reading good literature. “The person who doesn’t read is
no better off than the person who cannot read.” Reading, visualizing, planning,
writing are the key points here. Develop an active reading habit and a writing
culture.
SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL RENEWAL- Our social and emotional lives are tied together and they are
demonstrated in our relationship with others. It can be a normal everyday
interaction with people. Making people happy, putting a smile on someone’s
face, serving others and making them feel important are nice ways of social and
emotional renewal. There is a deep security that comes from living
interdependently. The meaning and purpose of our lives must be sought outside
us. The great cause upon which we devote our lives is something that is higher
than we are, something that transcends us. “Happiness is a perfume you cannot
put on others without getting some drops on yourself.” Eldon Tanner says that
“Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on earth.” Service,
empathy, synergy, and intrinsic security are the key words. George Bernard Shaw
writes: “This is the true joy in life- being used for a purpose recognized by
yourself as a mighty one....I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the
whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever
I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work, the
more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me.
It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I
want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations.” Let me offer you Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the former American
President’s interpretation of happiness. He says: “Happiness lies not in the
mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of
creative effort. The joy and moral stimulation of work no longer must be
forgotten in the mad chase of evanescent profits. These dark days will be worth
all they cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be ministered
unto but to minister to ourselves and to our fellow men.” The root word for
‘ministry’ is the Latin ministerium
and it means service. In the final analysis, happiness consists in serving
others. This is what I call the Principle of Creative Cooperation.
Nine Ways to
Improve your Relationship with Others
1.
Make yourself
likeable.
2.
Always remember
people’s names.
3.
Express
appreciation for what others do.
4.
Be lavish in
your praise.
5.
Listen intently
to other people’s words. “God has given us two ears and one mouth to listen
twice as much as we talk.”
6.
Let the interest
of the other person be the subject of your conversation.
7.
Make the other
person feel important.
8.
Do not criticise
destructively.
9.
Always believe
that there is a way to achieve the best results.
The Most
Important Words
Five Most Important Words- I
am proud of you!
Four Most Important Words- What
is your opinion?
Three Most Important Words- If
you please!
Two Most important Words- Thank
you!
The Single Most important Word- Congratulations!
The least Important Word- I
Anthony de Mello, an Indian Jesuit priest says, “This is the
cause of every problem in the world; ‘It belongs to me!” Refrain as much as
possible from personal possessives- ‘I, me, mine, and myself.’
SPIRITUAL RENEWAL- The
spiritual dimension is the core, your center, your commitment to a value
system. It is a very private area of your life and a supremely important one.
It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the
timeless truths of all humanity. Stephen Covey says of himself: “I find renewal
in daily prayerful meditation on the scriptures because they represent my value
system. As I read and meditate, I feel renewed, strengthened, centered and
recommitted to serve.” Immersion in great literature or great music can provide
a similar renewal of the spirit for some people. Value clarification &
commitment, study, meditation are key words here. Spiritual renewal takes an
investment of time. Religious leader David O. McKay teaches that, “The greatest
battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul.”
Socrates complements this by saying, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
CONCLUSION
Like someone said ‘youth is
only a journey, a phase that we pass through to fulfill our assignments here on
earth’ we will not remain young forever. To be youthful is a medium a chance
for us to deliver our mandate on earth by being useful to ourselves, the
community and especially to God. Remember God in the days of your youth, it is
only when we remember God in our youthful age that he can make us useful in
life. No matter what we are chasing in life, the time for our youth is the
energy we have, but vanity it will be if we are chasing vanity, because we
would have used our youthful age for nothing. I will like to conclude by saying
“enjoy your youth, do all that your heart desires, eat all that you want, but
remember God will judge all your actions”.
